Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
A group of individuals present the view that it is beneficial to involve
people
in information
related to scientific research, business and the academic world, whereas
, others believe, there is some information
which are of paramount importance and should not be shared generously. I strongly agree with the former opinion.
On the one hand, some people
justifiably argue that people
deserve to know as much as possible and it is their right to be acknowledged about different things in the world. For instance
, some information
about the outbreak of a particular disease which can be a pandemic and very dangerous to people
should not be kept a secret, otherwise
, it would pose great threats to human beings. Moreover
, there is some data
about outer space which are significantly important and people
completely deserve to be informed about that information
.
On the other hand
, another group of people
claim that some information
should only be distributed among a limited group of individuals and they should not be free for all people
. They firmly insist that several people
are suffering to gather crucial information
and they have the right to sell their information
to a few numbers of people
who tend to pay high amounts of money for that kind of data
. However
, I do not find this
argument convincing because I believe, people
who are trying to find extra information
in scientific, academic and many other areas are responsible for people
’s knowledge and their jobs are obviously is that to share those valuable data
with people
.
To conclude
, in my view, people
should be informed about any crucial information
in the world, moreover
, people
who are in charge of gathering that information
must distribute that data
openly to people
.Submitted by amirahmadi9301 on
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Task Response
Your essay presents the two views and offers your own opinion, but it can be improved by providing more detailed explanations and concrete examples. Try to elaborate further on your points to fully develop your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. You have a good structure but enhancing the logical connections between sentences and paragraphs will improve coherence and cohesion.
Coherence and Cohesion
While you have made a good effort to present both sides of the argument, providing more specific examples in support of your points could strengthen your essay. This would help in making your points more relatable and convincing.
Task Response
Your essay effectively presents both viewpoints and states your own position clearly. This is important in responding fully to the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are relevant and provide a good framework for your essay. This helps guide the reader through your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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