Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. What problems does this shortage cause? what measures could be taken to overcome these problems

In the digital era, from pole to pole, the inadequacy of clean
water
is becoming a common
problem
of enhancing significance. For all that, around seventy per cent of the earth is covered with rain, but only fifteen per cent of
that is
usable. There are many possible solutions to
this
problem
, which will be discussed in the subsequent paragraphs.  
Initially
, the main difficulty caused by a shortage of
water
is limited access to clean drinking rain,
such
as the absence of fresh drink industries. To give an example, one of the fundamental reasons for
this
problem
is that a lack of drinking unclean
water
might lead to different health issues
such
as cholera, dysentery, and typhoid.
In addition
, another reason for
this
is that the scarcity of clean
water
also
affects the agricultural system
as well as
the financial resources of countries.
For instance
, agriculture relies heavily on
water
for irrigation, and shortages of suitable liquid can lead to reduced crop yields, food shortages, and increased food prices.  
Furthermore
, several measures need to be taken to overcome
this
problem
. First of all, governments and regulatory authorities must improve
water
management, and developing better infrastructure for
water
storage, distribution, and treatment can help ensure that
water
resources are used more effectively, reach those in need, and reduce individual diseases.
Secondly
, the primary solution to
this
problem
is
water
conservation.
For instance
, society has developed a rainwater harvesting technique to collect rainwater and use it for various purposes, like agriculture.
Hence
, implementing efficient
water
use practices in agriculture, industry, and households can significantly reduce
water
waste.   In conclusion, the effects of the unavailability of usable
water
can be solved by the solutions discussed. So,
this
valuable matter has to be saved at any cost.
Submitted by ieltswritingband99 on

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task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and mentions important problems like health issues and impacts on agriculture. However, the discussion could benefit from deeper exploration and more specific examples to support the points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow between ideas can be improved for better coherence. Using cohesive devices and linking words more effectively could enhance readability.
language accuracy
There are parts where language inaccuracies may cause confusion (e.g., 'rain' instead of 'water'). It's important to proofread carefully to ensure clarity and correctness. Simplifying complex sentences and ensuring proper usage of vocabulary can help improve this aspect.
introduction conclusion
The introduction clearly states the problem, and the conclusion summarizes the solutions well. To strengthen the conclusion, you might want to reiterate the urgency of the solutions and their global impact.
introduction conclusion
The essay starts with an engaging introduction that clearly outlines the issue of water scarcity and its global importance.
coherence cohesion
Each problem and solution is addressed in a separate paragraph, which helps in understanding the essay's structure.
task achievement
The essay correctly identifies significant problems arising from the lack of fresh water and presents multiple solutions, showcasing a broad understanding of the issue.
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