IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. What problems does this shortage cause? what measures could be taken to overcome these problems

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In the digital era, from pole to pole, the inadequacy of clean
water
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 is becoming a common
problem
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 of enhancing significance. For all that, around seventy per cent of the earth is covered with rain, but only fifteen per cent of
that is
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 usable. There are many possible solutions to
this
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problem
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, which will be discussed in the subsequent paragraphs.  
Initially
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, the main difficulty caused by a shortage of
water
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 is limited access to clean drinking rain,
such
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 as the absence of fresh drink industries. To give an example, one of the fundamental reasons for
this
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problem
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 is that a lack of drinking unclean
water
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 might lead to different health issues
such
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 as cholera, dysentery, and typhoid.
In addition
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, another reason for
this
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 is that the scarcity of clean
water
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also
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 affects the agricultural system
as well as
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 the financial resources of countries.
For instance
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, agriculture relies heavily on
water
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 for irrigation, and shortages of suitable liquid can lead to reduced crop yields, food shortages, and increased food prices.  
Furthermore
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, several measures need to be taken to overcome
this
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problem
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. First of all, governments and regulatory authorities must improve
water
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 management, and developing better infrastructure for
water
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 storage, distribution, and treatment can help ensure that
water
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 resources are used more effectively, reach those in need, and reduce individual diseases.
Secondly
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, the primary solution to
this
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problem
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 is
water
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 conservation.
For instance
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, society has developed a rainwater harvesting technique to collect rainwater and use it for various purposes, like agriculture.
Hence
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, implementing efficient
water
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 use practices in agriculture, industry, and households can significantly reduce
water
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 waste.   In conclusion, the effects of the unavailability of usable
water
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 can be solved by the solutions discussed. So,
this
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 valuable matter has to be saved at any cost.

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task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and mentions important problems like health issues and impacts on agriculture. However, the discussion could benefit from deeper exploration and more specific examples to support the points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow between ideas can be improved for better coherence. Using cohesive devices and linking words more effectively could enhance readability.
language accuracy
There are parts where language inaccuracies may cause confusion (e.g., 'rain' instead of 'water'). It's important to proofread carefully to ensure clarity and correctness. Simplifying complex sentences and ensuring proper usage of vocabulary can help improve this aspect.
introduction conclusion
The introduction clearly states the problem, and the conclusion summarizes the solutions well. To strengthen the conclusion, you might want to reiterate the urgency of the solutions and their global impact.
introduction conclusion
The essay starts with an engaging introduction that clearly outlines the issue of water scarcity and its global importance.
coherence cohesion
Each problem and solution is addressed in a separate paragraph, which helps in understanding the essay's structure.
task achievement
The essay correctly identifies significant problems arising from the lack of fresh water and presents multiple solutions, showcasing a broad understanding of the issue.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • water scarcity
  • irrigation
  • contaminated
  • waterborne diseases
  • ecosystems
  • biodiversity
  • pandemics
  • economic downturn
  • social unrest
  • food security
  • resource management
  • conservation efforts
  • sustainable
  • desalination
  • rainwater harvesting
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