Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Reports showed that several species of
animals
are on the verge of extinction
while
many other species are predicted to face the same alarming issue soon.
This
saddening reality is driven by several circumstances, from animal poaching to the lack of government support. Animal poaching activities, which are driven by demand from wealthy people, of endangered
animals
are prevalent across the globe, especially in Africa. The act of hunting exotic
animals
such
as elephants, lions, and birds has been reported. Possible solutions to
this
problem are frequent monitoring in areas with exotic animal populations. Monitoring done by official groups should be done with advanced technology
such
as drones. Other equipment
such
as CCTV can
also
be installed, allowing real-time and 24/7 observation.
Furthermore
, strict punishment for
such
groups
also
needs to be set and taken. Some of the areas inhabited by endangered
animals
are often on the outskirts areas of a country, and
this
place is rarely visited by human beings. The government, which has the authority to pass a certain law and establish a program in focus to protect endangered
animals
, should act fast as any delay could lead to the actual extinction of some species. Solutions
such
as the creation of a fence along the specific area can be done.
Although
the authority may have listed a possible solution, sometimes those are not being carried out
accordingly
. Demanding the government could be done by the citizens through protests and massive social movements.
To conclude
, animal extinction is driven by human beings.
Therefore
, actions to prevent acts that lead to endangering
animals
should be taken seriously by the act of isolating and monitoring certain
space
Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
show examples
inhabited by
animals
and passing strict laws to persecute animal poachers.
Submitted by ayeshanuraini29 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your ideas. This will make your response more convincing and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
While your structure is logical, ensure the smooth flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Using more transitional phrases can help guide your reader more effectively.
task achievement
Consider elaborating more on your solutions, explaining how they specifically address the problems you've identified. This will make your essay more thorough and compelling.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction that sets the stage for the discussion and a concise conclusion that summarizes your points effectively.
task achievement
You have identified key reasons for animal extinction and provided relevant solutions, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • endangered animals
  • biodiversity
  • habitat loss
  • deforestation
  • urbanization
  • poaching
  • illegal wildlife trade
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • conservation efforts
  • legislation
  • enforcement
  • human overpopulation
  • sustainable development
  • responsible consumption
  • education
  • awareness programs
  • protected areas
  • wildlife reserves
  • international cooperation
  • collaboration
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