Some people argue that young people are unfit for holding significant positions in the government, while others maintain that it is beneficial for them to occupy such roles. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There exists a debate about whether youngsters are suitable for important positions in governments. Some
people
harbour a belief that young people
are too young to take such
roles, whilst others hold the reverse viewpoint. I am inclined to stand with the sceptics since I believe that young adults will bring about innovations to political systems.
Initially
, one of the main arguments in favour of the statement that youngsters are unfit for holding significant positions in the government is because some people
think young individuals may have inadequate experiences which will influence their abilities. Take workplaces for example
, some employees are more willing to follow older supervisors rather than young ones. However
, one's age is not in direct proportion to one's abilities. When the elder groups are able to assist the talented young ones with their sufficient experiences, it will generate positive outcomes.
At the other end of the spectrum, young adults are usually more creative than old ones which is beneficial to provoking some innovative ideas. Besides
, they may be more open-minded when receiving various opinions which may lead to active results. Take Taiwan for instance
, there is a growing tendency of young politicians as there are more and more voters who require new possibilities. Therefore
, young people
have their advantages in playing significant roles in authorities.
To sum up
, despite the fact that young politicians may lack life experiences, their power of creation cannot be denied. People
should break the age barrier and work together to create long-term benefits for society.Submitted by s99104032 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay follows a clear and logical structure throughout. While your essay does have an introduction and conclusion, they could be strengthened by providing clearer thesis statements and more distinct summarization of your arguments. Moreover, aim to link your ideas more fluidly between paragraphs. Use cohesive devices appropriately to enhance the readability and flow of your essay. Avoid abrupt jumps in the argumentation.
task achievement
With regards to task achievement, your essay does address the prompt, but you should aim to provide a more balanced discussion of both viewpoints before giving your own opinion. Ensure that you fully explore each perspective with equal depth and consideration. Incorporate relevant, specific examples to illustrate your points and to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic, which in turn will make your argument more compelling and complete.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!