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Writing Samples
Band 8

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages ?

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Some people claim that taking a
risk
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 is important to achieve more both in career and family life. There are both advantages and disadvantages associated with
risk
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-taking, but I believe that the positive aspects outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, sometimes people who decide to take a
risk
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 tend to underestimate the consequences. In some cases, the reward is not worth jeopardising that has been already achieved.
For example
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, my uncle believed in his business idea so much that without any business knowledge and studies of the subject, he quit his job and sold the house to start his own business. Eventually, he lost everything, ended up with big debts and divorced.
On the other hand
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, by taking calculated risks, people can improve their lives. It is not enough to be in the right place at the right time to see the opportunity, individuals should be ready to take a
risk
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 to make it materialize.
For example
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, accepting a promotion can be risky, but only by leaving the comfort zone and challenging themselves real professional growth can be achieved.
In addition
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, the same approach can be used for relationships. No doubt, starting a connection with a stranger may be risky, especially when an emotional connection is involved.
However
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, by taking a chance and opening up to each other a couple may develop a real partnership, in which both will be rewarded. The most important part is to decide by taking into consideration all the factors,
such
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 as personality, character and behaviour of the potential partner, and not rely on illusion and take risks there.
To conclude
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,
although
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 there are a few disadvantages when it comes to
risk
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-taking, calculated
risk
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 takes precedence over the negative aspects and can significantly improve people’s lives.

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task achievement
Ensure that each main point is thoroughly supported with detailed examples. Consider expanding on some of the points to provide a deeper analysis.
coherence cohesion
Work on smoothing transitions between paragraphs to make the essay flow even better. This can improve the overall readability and coherence of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and presents the topic well, setting the stage for the rest of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the thesis, emphasizing your stance.
relevant specific examples
The examples you used are relevant and help illustrate your points, making your arguments more persuasive.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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