Some people think that media like newspaper should stop publishing the information about the people's private life , Others think that control to stop such publication should be put in place. Discuss both views and state you opinion.
News in the current generation spread like forest fire, which
sometime
affects innocent Replace the word
sometimes
lives
and people
may placed
guilty. Verb problem
feel
This
affects their personal image in the social presence. To this
some suggest make
a complete stop Wrong verb form
making
on
publishing Change preposition
to
information
about the
private life would resolve the issue, to counter some argue that it is necessary to place Correct article usage
apply
a
authority in charge to control these Correct article usage
an
publication
. Fix the agreement mistake
publications
Although
the latter opinion suggest
beneficial ideas to safeguard Change the verb form
suggests
the an
personal of society. I believe a balanced approach is needed.
One view describes Choose an article
the
media
should take initiative
to stop Correct article usage
the initiative
pusblishing
Correct your spelling
publishing
information
about people
's personal lives
to respect their privacy and maintain journalism. Using this
approach means media
would leave people
personal Change noun form
people's
lives
aside. This
can Add a missing verb
be acheived
acheived
via Correct your spelling
achieved
media' self
Change noun form
media's
regualation
and ethical guidelines. Correct your spelling
regulations
In
addition
it is a dire need, Add a comma
addition,
although
it support
Change the verb form
supports
media
reporters to get juicy news, it is also
harmful and invasive for people
. As it affects individual private life resulting in public shaming and harassment. For instance
, In India, to acheive
a better report, reporter abuse their power and report private Correct your spelling
achieve
information
in front, which sometimes
reported as a Add a missing verb
is sometimes
reson
of suicide. Being Correct your spelling
result
this
decision baised
does not guarantee Correct your spelling
based
biased
people
safeguard, due to
which I do not believe this
as
a perfect solution.
Correct your spelling
is
On the other hand
, placing a regulatory authority may restrict reporter to do
their job properly, affecting their ability to get Change preposition
from doing
appropriate
Add an article
the appropriate
information
required for the news. This
may lead to improper and misleading report
. Fix the agreement mistake
reports
However
, it is essential for for public right to know about the private lives
of some public figures, if
their Correct word choice
and if
lives
corelates
with their professional responsibilities or public actions.
Correct your spelling
correlate
For example
, it is important for people
to know public figures like president
, Correct article usage
the president
position
and Correct pronoun usage
their position
action
, as Fix the agreement mistake
actions
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
affects
Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
daily
Correct article usage
the daily
lives
of countless people
.
In conclusion, gathering information
for reporting new
is dier for Correct your spelling
news
people
and society. And do so, people
should be held responsibile
, if their action affects Correct your spelling
responsible
anyone
life either socially or mentally. A balanced approach could help majorly in Change noun form
anyone's
situation
similar to Add an article
a situation
this
, for which government
should place Correct article usage
the government
a
authority to regulate Change the article
an
these
Correct determiner usage
this
media
information
at the same time it is also
necessary for reporters to self regulate
their position as a reporter.Add a hyphen
self-regulate
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on
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task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion on both points of view and stated your opinion clearly. However, some of your sentences are not as clear as they could be. Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to ensure your ideas come across more clearly.
coherence cohesion
While you have a logical flow in your essay, there are some points where it could be made smoother. Ensure each paragraph links to the next and try to avoid abrupt transitions. Use linking words and phrases to enhance cohesion.
task achievement
Your arguments are relevant, but some points need more specific examples for better illustration. Including detailed examples would strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined and provide a good structure to your essay.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument thoroughly and stated your opinion clearly, fulfilling the task requirements.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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