Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

These days,

children

Use synonyms

are addicted to their mobile

phones

Use synonyms

and spend most of their

time

Use synonyms

on them. Personally, I believe that

this

Linking Words

has a negative impact on

children

Use synonyms

’s lives. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will explore the reasons why

this

Linking Words

trend is occurring, and give some reasons to support my opinion. Recently, it is irrefutable that the Internet is widely integrated into our lives;

furthermore

Linking Words

, the number of people who use it has significantly increased.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, new cell

phones

Use synonyms

usually come with increasingly advanced and cool features. In fact, almost all cell

phones

Use synonyms

have Wi-Fi facilities and can connect to the Internet easily.

Moreover

Linking Words

, there are miscellaneous games on it, turning it into an addictive gadget, especially for

children

Use synonyms

Additionally

Linking Words

, there are numerous social media platforms where

children

Use synonyms

can communicate with individuals around the world online and easily make new friends.

Therefore

Linking Words

, young generations have been attracted to

this

Linking Words

device by its amazing features.

However

Linking Words

, spending too much

time

Use synonyms

on cell

phones

Use synonyms

can lead to disastrous consequences.

For example

Linking Words

, it has been proven that looking at the phone screen for long hours can damage the eyes and reduce the level of vision;

also

Linking Words

, it can hurt the neck.

Thus

Linking Words

, health problems can be created by using smartphones constantly. Another issue is that some

children

Use synonyms

are so addicted to

this

Linking Words

device that they do not care about what is going on around them.

Consequently

Linking Words

, they cannot assign enough

time

Use synonyms

to their responsibilities. So, I think

this

Linking Words

procedure is a negative development.

To conclude

Linking Words

, some young generations use their mobile

phones

Use synonyms

most of the

time

Use synonyms

Although

Linking Words

proposing

this

Linking Words

device makes our life much more convenient, it can affect

children

Use synonyms

negatively; so, in my view, it is a negative development.

Submitted by fatemeh1994bahrami on Sat Jun 15 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

To further improve coherence, try to use more transitional phrases to smoothly connect your ideas. For example, phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Another reason is,' and 'Furthermore' help the reader to follow your argument more easily.

task achievement

For task response, provide more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your argument. For instance, delve deeper into specific health issues or social problems caused by excessive smartphone use. Specific studies or statistics could also help.

coherence cohesion

Work on varying your sentence structure and vocabulary to maintain the reader’s interest. Using a variety of sentence beginnings and some less common words can make your essay more engaging.

task achievement

You’ve clearly stated your opinion and consistently supported it throughout the essay, which makes your position easy to follow.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear and logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This enhances readability.

task achievement

You’ve addressed both parts of the task, explaining why children spend so much time on smartphones and expressing your view on whether this is a positive or negative development.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
Work helps to develop the nation's economy and also work provides a balanced life for the people. In some countries, people want to find work for a living so they have to move away from their friends and families. This will help us to find the advantages and disadvantages of work.
4
band
It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.
punishment help children to learn, what is good and right? There are many people belive that punishment is very crucial for children to learn right and wrong at an early age. Others argue that it is not a solution. I totally disagree with this agreement.
5.5
band
There is a general increase in anti-social behaviours and lack of respect for others. What are the causes and solutions?
In recent years, society has witnessed a noticeable rise in antisocial and disrespectful behavior. This phenomenon happens in various contexts and stems from certain causes, which require definite solutions in order to fully address.
6
band
A friend you met last year has invited you to visit him/her in his/her country. You have never been there before and need some information before you leave. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: request advise about a gift for his/her family ask about activities and clothing in his/her country find out about the food You do NOT need to write a
I know you are doing well, As you invited me to your place, and I have never been there before, I want to ask you few details ahead of my journey. So, I thought writing a letter might be a good option.
5
band
These days consumers are faced with an increasing amount of advertising from various company. To what extent do you think consumers are infuenced by advertising?What measures should be taken to prevent them?
There is an ongoing debate about advertising and whether the numerous number and diversity of it can have influence on comsumers decision. The following paragraphs will discuss this assertion and a solution to avoid the impacts.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.

There is a general increase in anti-social behaviours and lack of respect for others. What are the causes and solutions?

These days consumers are faced with an increasing amount of advertising from various company. To what extent do you think consumers are infuenced by advertising?What measures should be taken to prevent them?