IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that history has no value in the contemporary world. But some believe that we still need history to learn from the past. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #people #history #value #world #believe #viewpoints
When considering the importance of
history
, some claim that there is no benefit to learning the subject because it has no application in modern society. It is my opinion that
history
 must be carefully studied and thoroughly discussed, as past mistakes can shape how we solve present-day issues. The main criticism of
history
 arises from the fact that it diverts the limited resources and attention away from ongoing issues. Most believe that money should be spent on more pressing matters,
such
 as solving the housing crisis or reducing unemployment rates.
This
 mainly stems from the fact that
history
 is often regarded
a
Change preposition
as a
show examples
boring subject at school.
For example
, a recent study showed that over 70% of students studying at the secondary level would remove
history
 from their syllabus if given the opportunity.
However
, if taught properly, the masses can be influenced to make correct choices regarding policies. Learning from the motives behind several movements and the outcomes of past actions has often shaped the population's opinions, which in turn has had a positive effect on decision-making. There have been several instances of societies being able to uplift themselves by adopting certain practices, or by avoiding harmful ideas that would prevent progress. One
such
 example is the granting of universal voting rights to all Indian citizens upon their independence from British rule, which
as a result
 has prevented additional decade-long struggles by marginalised groups for equality. It is often said that those who are unaware of
history
 are doomed to repeat it. It is
therefore
 essential to manage resources and teach
history
 effectively so that progress can be made without delaying ongoing developments.
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coherence cohesion
To improve your score further, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using more connecting words and phrases can help to clarify the relationships between your ideas.
task achievement
While your essay addresses both viewpoints and provides examples, consider expanding on the examples a bit more or adding additional ones to better support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frame your discussion effectively.
task achievement
You have adequately addressed the prompt by discussing both viewpoints and stating your own opinion clearly.
task achievement
The example of universal voting rights in India is relevant and well-chosen, illustrating how history can impact modern decision-making.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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