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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays cultures of different countries are becoming more similar than they use to be. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?

#cultures #countries #development
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Due to
 the development of technology and more literacy of
the
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apply
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people
 are changing the
life
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lifestyle
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style
. Most of them are willing to
adhering
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adhere
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 the foreign
culture
 and
reluctance
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are reluctance
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 to follow their own
culture
.
This
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In this
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 essay we are going to discuss
about
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apply
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the attributes behind
on
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apply
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this
 and whether it will
give
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be
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 beneficial to
the
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apply
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society or not. Analyzing
this
 statement, the first reason behind
on
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apply
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this
 is technological growth. At present,
the
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apply
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communication is very fast all
people
 are using
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
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 and have an account in social media through
this
 another country
life
style
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lifestyle
show examples
 can
learn
Wrong verb form
be learned
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 easily.
Moreover
, commuting from one country to another has become now very common,
hence
people
 have more keen and enthusiastic to follow
Add an article
the western
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western
Capitalize word
Western
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culture
.
Additionally
,
due to
globalization
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globalization,
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 many foreign items are easily available in the market
with
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at
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 affordable
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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. To
illustrates
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illustrate
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, my nation normally
eating
Wrong verb form
eats
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 food by using empty hands but at present most of them are using
fork
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forks
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,
spoons
Correct word choice
and spoons
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instead
 of hands.
In addition
to
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apply
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, despite the cultural similarity will
feasible
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be feasible
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 to give demerits
also
.
To
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Due to
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 the inculcation of foreign
culture
 the
countries
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country's
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 traditional activities may
possible
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possibly
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to
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apply
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disappear.
Furthermore
,
the
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apply
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life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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style
 and food habits will
possible
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possibly
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to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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change. It will not give
the
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a
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 good result in future.
For instance
,
my
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in my
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 native country most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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people
 are
endeavoring
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endeavouring
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 to avoid
the
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apply
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traditional foods
to eat
Verb problem
;
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instead
of
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apply
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that
Correct word choice
apply
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they are giving prior to
eat
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eating
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 fast foods like pizza and
burger
Fix the agreement mistake
burgers
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. In a
nut shell
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nutshell
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,
technology
Replace the word
technological
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 development is an inevitable one and
people
 should know about
another
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other
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 nation’s cultures and
life
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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style
. At the same
time
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time,
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 they must be not
allowing
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allowed
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 to boycott their own
culture
. Because
,
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apply
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 it is
the
Change the word
their
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 identity
of
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apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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from where we born.
Submitted by smsundaram57 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and ideas are logically connected from one to another. This helps make the essay easier to follow.
task achievement
While you have addressed the task response adequately, try to explore the question in more depth and provide more detailed examples. This will help you achieve higher scores for task response.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction and a conclusion summarizing your main points.
supported main points
The discussion about technology and globalization as reasons for cultural similarity is well-founded.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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