You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion. You should write at least 250 words.

Nowadays, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
a growing debate surrounding the topic of should the
governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
show examples
constrate
Correct your spelling
concentrate
its focus on building specialised
facilities
to train top athletes, rather than providing sports
facilities
that
everyone
can use.
However
,
this
essay will discuss both sides of the argument and provide my view on
this
phenomenon. On the one hand, some believe that countries achieve international sports by building sophisticated
facilities
to train top athletes rather than equally
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
for
everyone
to use. They argue that some individuals do not have the ability and the financial
freedome
Correct your spelling
freedom
to cover the expenses to cover gym memberships or to join sports
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
.
For example
, some children are talented and well-rounded football players,
however
, they do not have enough support to
further
improve their skills.
Thus
, governments should offer specialised
facilities
and
offordable
Correct your spelling
affordable
training memberships that
everyone
can benefit from.
On the other hand
, others and I believe that government should not spend large
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
of money on all the citizens.
Although
, there are some individuals who are talented, not all of them have the real intention to represent the country on
global
Add an article
a global
show examples
scale.
Therefore
, it would be
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
of state funds, if the countries spent the same amount of money for
everyone
. In conclusion,
after
this
essay has considered the mentioned points, it can be reiterated that governments
allocates
Change the verb form
allocate
show examples
substantial funds to support national team players through
prepering
Correct your spelling
preparing
them with specialised
facilities
.
Therefore
, I am convinced that these
facilities
should not be available for
everyone
, who
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
no intention to represent the country
internaionally
Correct your spelling
internationally
.
Submitted by marammajid1999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure all parts of the prompt are addressed. Specifically, the essay should discuss both views more equally and in depth before providing a personal opinion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to substantiate your arguments. This will enhance the relevance and clarity of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and spelling errors for better readability. For instance, 'constrate' should be 'concentrate' and 'freedome' should be 'freedom'.
coherence cohesion
Improve your logical transitions between paragraphs and within the argument to achieve better coherence. This will make your essay more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provide a strong framework for your argument.
coherence cohesion
You address both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your overall structure is logical, making it easy to follow your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: