IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below gives information about the number of visitors to three London museums between June and September 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below gives information about the number of visitors to three London museums between June and September 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #information #visitors #three #london #museums #june #september #summarise #features #comparisons
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The line chart illustrates the arrivals
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 three different museums in London from June to September 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, most people
visiting
Wrong verb form
visited
show examples
 the British
Museum
Use synonyms
 throughout the period.
Although
Linking Words
 the visitor
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Natural
Correct article usage
the Natural
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 History
Use synonyms
Museum
Add a verb
Museum is
Museum was
show examples
initially
Linking Words
 as high as the former, it
then
Linking Words
 fluctuated during the survey time.
While
Linking Words
 the tourist of Natural History
Museum
Use synonyms
 saw the lowest number compared to
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 other destinations.
In
Change the preposition
At
show examples
 the beginning of Summer 2013, the arrival rate in
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
 was 600
thousand
Use synonyms
 arrivals. It
then
Linking Words
 witnessed a remarkable fluctuation over the period between approximately 500 and 750
thousand
Use synonyms
 visitors. There was around 600
thousand
Use synonyms
tourist
Change to a plural noun
tourists
show examples
 that came to the Natural History
Museum
Use synonyms
 in June 2013,
then
Linking Words
 it saw a sharp decline to about 400
thousand
Use synonyms
 visitors. It plateaued for a month before
experienced
Wrong verb form
experiencing
show examples
 a slight
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 to just under 500
thousand
Use synonyms
 tourists. Only a handful of people attended the Science
Museum
Use synonyms
 over time. In June 2013, it attracted 400
thousand
Use synonyms
 visitors,
then
Linking Words
 slowly decreased in the next two months before
raised
Verb problem
rising
show examples
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
period
Add an article
the period
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 just over the original level.
Submitted by writingbersama on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words museum, thousand with synonyms.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • line graph
  • illustrates
  • number of visitors
  • museums
  • from June to September 2013
  • the British Museum
  • the Natural History Museum
  • the Science Museum
  • overall trend
  • attracted
  • the most visitors
  • fewest visitors
  • peak
  • experienced fluctuations
  • decline
  • highlight
  • dominance
  • consistent decline
  • minor resurgence
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