IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people like to try new things,for example,places to visit and types of food.other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with.discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.

#people #places #visit #food #attitudes
This
 topic has always been disputable,
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
 interest
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 travelling and cuisine choice changes as time
flew
Wrong verb form
flies
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.
However
, some people always
like
Add the particle
like to
show examples
 do
things
 in their own comfort zone. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, society always
like
Change the verb form
likes
show examples
 to attempt new
adventures
Change the noun form
adventure
show examples
 activities as it
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
show examples
 them
as well as
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhances
show examples
 their knowledge from the new experiments.
For instance
,one can like to wander in totally different
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
show examples
town
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
show examples
such
 as
Capitalize word
Turkey
show examples
turkey
Capitalize word
Turkey
show examples
in addition
 to
Wrong verb form
exploring
show examples
explore
Wrong verb form
exploring
show examples
 new
sightseeing
Replace the word
sights
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and breathtaking
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breathtaking
Correct word choice
and breathtaking
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 views of natural surroundings and
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
try
Wrong verb form
trying
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 their authentic food as well.
As a result
, it could moderate their
percepective
Correct your spelling
perspective
perceptive
 towards new
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
,customs and rituals.
On the other hand
, individuals like monotonous
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
 as they might have been denied to do new
things
 in their routine.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
consequence
Correct article usage
a consequence
show examples
 of
this
, they could not experience new
things
.
As
Change preposition
In
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contrast, it would be proven beneficial
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if someone follows
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 routine he/she may become
master
Correct article usage
a master
show examples
 in it.
For example
,
someone
Correct word choice
if someone
show examples
practice
Change the verb form
practices
show examples
 cricket regularly,there are chances
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they would be
veteran
Correct article usage
a veteran
show examples
 in
this
 field.
Moreover
, human always
feel
Change the verb form
feels
show examples
sense
Add an article
a sense
show examples
 of security in their own surroundings as compared to new places. In a
nutshells
Correct the article-noun agreement
nutshell
show examples
, I have to put my pen down to say that
experience
Wrong verb form
experiencing
show examples
 new
things
 in different
province
Fix the agreement mistake
provinces
show examples
 is better
to acquire
Change preposition
for acquiring
show examples
 knowledge than
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
being in their own region.
Submitted by jenny.15121996 on

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task achievement
Make sure to proofread your essay for small grammatical errors and typos, such as 'fly' instead of 'flew' and 'perspective' instead of 'percepective'. These minor errors can distract the reader and affect your score.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph has a clear main idea that is fully developed. For example, the paragraph on individuals who prefer familiarity could benefit from a more detailed explanation of why they might avoid new experiences.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the main points discussed and clearly stating your final opinion.
task achievement
You have made a good attempt to cover both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
task achievement
The essay contains relevant examples which help to illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Your paragraphs are logically organized and each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Novelty
  • Routine
  • Comfort zone
  • Risk-taker
  • Risk-averse
  • Enrichment
  • Personal growth
  • Innovation
  • Creativity
  • Stability
  • Tradition
  • Habit
  • Familiarity
  • Personal enrichment
  • Life stages
  • Fulfilling
What to do next:
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