In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In some commercials, sellers nowadays usually underline that their products are innovative in some way. In my opinion,
this
has a positive effect on the development of businesses. The reason that companies always advertise themselves as the best of the best is to eliminate competition from their competitors. The simplest example would be the
Apple
franchise; the Kingdom of
Apple
’s business are the most gullible, as they believe everything that the producers say, just because it has the half-bitten
Apple
logo. “The best of the best camera, super-enhanced photography options”; by saying
this
,
apple
engineers are ensuring that their deal will stay loyal.
Apple
’s biggest competition would be the Royalty of Samsung, as they are the second most-bought phone company in the market. Many of their buyers are manipulated by the fact that Apples are conspicuous consumption and only the fanciest can afford to have them, raising the standards that
Apple
seems to have.
Thus
, every time a phone company announces a new product, its motto is “You haven’t seen
this
before,”
although
one has seen it multiple times in another phone brand.
Although
this
is a way of monopolizing, it
also
has some benefits for the customers. Every time a new product is released by
Apple
, the prices of the creations produced before seem to fall because
Apple
doesn’t care about the money that the outdated invention brings them, as their only focus would be the recently released merchandise.
Although
this
is beneficial for the customers,
Apple
seems to not benefit from it at all, as decreasing prices for the sake of other people buying them is not useful and does not bring in a lot of money. Many people have seemed to realize the scheme that
Apple
is currently running, as whenever a new product is released, no one seems to be keen on buying it;
instead
, they wait a bit longer for the prices to drop. In conclusion, it is safe to say that,
although
there are three apples that have impacted the world significantly (Newton,
Apple
, and Eve), people should not fall for the schemes that a monopoly is running, as one should always save up
instead
of always spending spree.
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Introduction
The introduction effectively sets up the essay topic, but it could be improved by more clearly stating the writer's stance on whether emphasizing innovation is a positive or negative development.
Language
The essay could benefit from a more varied vocabulary and more sophisticated sentence structures to enhance clarity and coherence.
Balance and Objectivity
While the examples provided are relevant, they are somewhat biased against Apple. Balancing the analysis by considering other companies or perspectives might strengthen the argument.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarises the essay, but it would be stronger if it restates the main argument more directly rather than using a proverb-like statement.
Structure
The essay is generally well-structured and effectively organizes ideas into clear paragraphs.
Examples
The use of a real-world example (Apple) helps to ground the argument in reality, making it more relatable for readers.
Structure
The introduction and conclusion are both present and contribute to the overall coherence of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innovation
  • Fast-paced
  • Distinguishing
  • Psychological aspect
  • Inherently
  • Perceived
  • Continuous improvement
  • Revolutionary
  • Feasible
  • Throwaway culture
  • Undervalue
  • Longevity
  • Obscure
  • Novelty
  • Unsatisfactory
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