IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Last weekend, your cousin celebrated her 50th birthday, but you could not attend and forgot to cancel. Write a letter to your cousin. In your letter: Apologize for missing the birthday celebration Explain why you missed it and why you had not let her know Describe how you will make it up to her

#weekend #cousin #birthday #celebration
Dear Jack, I am writing
this
 email to say sorry that I wasn't able to be with you
while
 you were celebrating your 50th
birthday
;
however
, I would have been really happy if had been able to come to the
party
. Two days before your
party
, I got a call from a friend of mine, telling me that her daughter was sick and she needed help as her husband works abroad and she is alone. I thought it wouldn't
last
 more than one day and I went to her house. Suddenly, her daughter started screaming and we were confused about what the reason was.
As a result
, we took her to a hospital and she was hospitalized.
Therefore
, I had to stay beside my friend and I missed your
birthday
party
, which was really saddening for me. I apologize again and I know how
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
kind you are to forgive me.
Besides
, I reserved a table in your
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 restaurant, where we celebrated your wife's
birthday
last
 year, on
20th
Correct article usage
the 20th
show examples
 of June. You, your wife, and your children are all invited there as I might be able to make up my absence
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 your
birthday
party
. I am looking forward to getting your reply, Regards, Maria
Submitted by mojgan.sobhani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the letter explains the situation well, you could add a brief mention of how close your cousin is to you or how much you value the relationship to add more depth.
coherence cohesion
The letter flows nicely, but adding one or two transitional phrases could make the structure even clearer.
task achievement
The apology is sincere and you provide a detailed explanation, making your reasons very clear.
coherence cohesion
The closing is warm, inviting, and shows your willingness to make amends, which is excellent.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!