Write about the following topic: A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exercise and avoid stresses. What should people do to stay healthy in your country? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience?

HEALTHY
Correct article usage
A HEALTHY
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LIFE
CAN BE DEFINED AS BOTH MENTAL AND PHYSICAL
WELLBEING
Correct your spelling
WELL-BEING
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.
THEREFORE
PEOPLE
SHOULD PAY ATTENTION TO
IMPROVE
Wrong verb form
IMPROVING
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THEIR BODY FITNESS
AS WELL AS
THE
Change the word
THEIR
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MENTAL
HEALTH
. MOST
PEOPLE
START TO THINK ABOUT
HEALTH
WHEN THEY FACE SOME KIND OF CRITICAL
NON COMMUNICABLE
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NON-COMMUNICABLE
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DISEASE.THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT THE HORSE HAS GONE WHEN IT COMES TO
THIS
STAGE.
THIS
IS NOT THE REGIME WE SHOULD FOLLOW AS A NATION TO BE HEALTHY.WE SHOULD HAVE
HEALTH
EDUCATION PROGRAMMES AND
HEALTH
CAMPS TO SCREEN THE COMMUNITY FROM BIRTH TO ADULTHOOD.AS AN EXAMPLE, IF WE DELAY THE EXPOSURE AND LIMIT THE
SUGAR CONTAINING
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SUGAR-CONTAINING
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FOODS TO KIDS,THEY WILL NOT GO AFTER IT AS THEY ARE NOT AWARE OF IT THAT MUCH.
THEN
KIDS WILL USE TO SPEND THE LESS SUGAR
LIFE
.THERE ARE KNOWN KIDS
TO
Change preposition
apply
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ME
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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WHO DRINK THEIR MORNING TEA WITHOUT SUGAR AS THEY ARE USED TO IT FROM INFANCY.
THIS
IS A GOOD INITIATE TO GET RID OF FUTURE DIABETES.
SAME
Correct article usage
THE SAME
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PRACTICE CAN BE INTRODUCED FOR LOW SALT CONSUMPTION TO REDUCE THE NUMBER OF FUTURE HYPERTENSIVE PATIENTS.
ALSO
Add a comma
ALSO,
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PHYSICAL EDUCATION AND EXERCISE PROGRAMMES SHOULD BE FOLLOWED AS A
LIFE
EVENT BUT NOT AS A PERIOD IN THE SCHOOL.
THEN
,THEY WILL CONTINUE THE HABIT IN
A
Correct article usage
AN
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ENTHUSIASTIC MANNER WITHOUT EXTERNAL FORCE.
PSHYCOLOGICAL
Correct your spelling
PSYCHOLOGICAL
WELLBEING IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO A BALANCED
LIFE
. IT INVARIABLY AFFECT THE PHYSICAL FITNESS AS WELL.
PEOPLE
SHOULD LEARN TO REGULATE
WORK
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WORK-LIFE
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LIFE
BALANCE WITHOUT UNDERGOING UNWANTED STRESS. STRESS IS DETRIMENTAL TO MOST OF THE TOP NON
COMMUNICABLR
Correct your spelling
COMMUNICABLE
DISEASES IN THE SOCIETY. WE CAN INFLUENCE
THE
Correct article usage
apply
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PEOPLE
TO AVOID ARTIFICIAL FOODS AND TRY TO USE HOME GARDENING FOODS AS MUCH AS THEY CAN.MY
GRAND PARENTS
Correct your spelling
GRANDPARENTS
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OF FATHERS SIDE ALWAYS ATE VEGETABLES AND FRUITS FROM THEIR GARDEN. BOTH OF THEM LIVED
TILL
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apply
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99 YEARS WITH GOOD PHYSICAL AND MENTAL
HEALTH
WITHOUT BECOMING A BURDEN TO OTHERS. IF WE ARE FOLLOWING A HEALTHY
LIFE STYLE
Correct your spelling
LIFESTYLE
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,
PEOPLE
AROUND US GET SOME KIND
IF
Correct your spelling
OF
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MOTIVATION TO DO THE SAME.AUTOMATICALLY NEXT GENERATION WILL
ALSO
FOLLOW THE SAME PRACTICES IN THEIR SCOPE.
THIS
WILL LEAD TO A HEALTHY NATION WITHOUT EFFORT.
TO SUM UP
, WE SHOULD PAY MORE ATTENTION
ON
Change preposition
TO
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OUR
HEALTH
WHILE
GOVERNMENT
Correct article usage
THE GOVERNMENT
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SHOULD
POSSESS
Verb problem
PASS
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REGULATIONS TO ENCOURAGE AND EDUCATE THE PUBLIC REGARDING THE IMPORTANCE OF MAINTAINING A HEALTHY
LIFE
. PREVENTION IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN CURE.
Submitted by dinaka0001 on

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coherence
Consider providing a clearer structure by separating your essay into distinct paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point. This will improve readability and coherence.
introduction conclusion
Develop the introduction and conclusion further to better frame your essay. The introduction should clearly outline what the essay will discuss, and the conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points.
clarity
Work on expressing your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Proofreading for grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors can also enhance the clarity of your writing.
examples
You have included relevant and specific examples, such as the consideration of sugar consumption from childhood, which strengthen your argument.
content
You have made a good attempt to address multiple aspects of maintaining health, including diet, exercise, and psychological well-being.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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