Write about the following topic: A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exercise and avoid stresses. What should people do to stay healthy in your country? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience?
HEALTHY
Correct article usage
A HEALTHY
LIFE
CAN BE DEFINED AS BOTH MENTAL AND PHYSICAL WELLBEING
.Correct your spelling
WELL-BEING
THEREFORE
PEOPLE
SHOULD PAY ATTENTION TO IMPROVE
THEIR BODY FITNESS Wrong verb form
IMPROVING
AS WELL AS
THE
MENTAL Change the word
THEIR
HEALTH
.
MOST PEOPLE
START TO THINK ABOUT HEALTH
WHEN THEY FACE SOME KIND OF CRITICAL NON COMMUNICABLE
DISEASE.THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT THE HORSE HAS GONE WHEN IT COMES TO Add a hyphen
NON-COMMUNICABLE
THIS
STAGE.THIS
IS NOT THE REGIME WE SHOULD FOLLOW AS A NATION TO BE HEALTHY.WE SHOULD HAVE HEALTH
EDUCATION PROGRAMMES AND HEALTH
CAMPS TO SCREEN THE COMMUNITY FROM BIRTH TO ADULTHOOD.AS AN EXAMPLE, IF WE DELAY THE EXPOSURE AND LIMIT THE SUGAR CONTAINING
FOODS TO KIDS,THEY WILL NOT GO AFTER IT AS THEY ARE NOT AWARE OF IT THAT MUCH.Add a hyphen
SUGAR-CONTAINING
THEN
KIDS WILL USE TO SPEND THE LESS SUGAR LIFE
.THERE ARE KNOWN KIDS TO
Change preposition
apply
ME
WHO DRINK THEIR MORNING TEA WITHOUT SUGAR AS THEY ARE USED TO IT FROM INFANCY.Correct pronoun usage
apply
THIS
IS A GOOD INITIATE TO GET RID OF FUTURE DIABETES. SAME
PRACTICE CAN BE INTRODUCED FOR LOW SALT CONSUMPTION TO REDUCE THE NUMBER OF FUTURE HYPERTENSIVE PATIENTS.
Correct article usage
THE SAME
ALSO
PHYSICAL EDUCATION AND EXERCISE PROGRAMMES SHOULD BE FOLLOWED AS A Add a comma
ALSO,
LIFE
EVENT BUT NOT AS A PERIOD IN THE SCHOOL.THEN
,THEY WILL CONTINUE THE HABIT IN A
ENTHUSIASTIC MANNER WITHOUT EXTERNAL FORCE.
Correct article usage
AN
PSHYCOLOGICAL
WELLBEING IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO A BALANCED Correct your spelling
PSYCHOLOGICAL
LIFE
. IT INVARIABLY AFFECT THE PHYSICAL FITNESS AS WELL.PEOPLE
SHOULD LEARN TO REGULATE WORK
Add a hyphen
WORK-LIFE
LIFE
BALANCE WITHOUT UNDERGOING UNWANTED STRESS. STRESS IS DETRIMENTAL TO MOST OF THE TOP NON COMMUNICABLR
DISEASES IN THE SOCIETY.
WE CAN INFLUENCE Correct your spelling
COMMUNICABLE
THE
Correct article usage
apply
PEOPLE
TO AVOID ARTIFICIAL FOODS AND TRY TO USE HOME GARDENING FOODS AS MUCH AS THEY CAN.MY GRAND PARENTS
OF FATHERS SIDE ALWAYS ATE VEGETABLES AND FRUITS FROM THEIR GARDEN. BOTH OF THEM LIVED Correct your spelling
GRANDPARENTS
TILL
99 YEARS WITH GOOD PHYSICAL AND MENTAL Change preposition
apply
HEALTH
WITHOUT BECOMING A BURDEN TO OTHERS.
IF WE ARE FOLLOWING A HEALTHY LIFE STYLE
, Correct your spelling
LIFESTYLE
PEOPLE
AROUND US GET SOME KIND IF
MOTIVATION TO DO THE SAME.AUTOMATICALLY NEXT GENERATION WILL Correct your spelling
OF
ALSO
FOLLOW THE SAME PRACTICES IN THEIR SCOPE.THIS
WILL LEAD TO A HEALTHY NATION WITHOUT EFFORT.
TO SUM UP
, WE SHOULD PAY MORE ATTENTION ON
OUR Change preposition
TO
HEALTH
WHILE
GOVERNMENT
SHOULD Correct article usage
THE GOVERNMENT
POSSESS
REGULATIONS TO ENCOURAGE AND EDUCATE THE PUBLIC REGARDING THE IMPORTANCE OF MAINTAINING A HEALTHY Verb problem
PASS
LIFE
. PREVENTION IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN CURE.Submitted by dinaka0001 on
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coherence
Consider providing a clearer structure by separating your essay into distinct paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point. This will improve readability and coherence.
introduction conclusion
Develop the introduction and conclusion further to better frame your essay. The introduction should clearly outline what the essay will discuss, and the conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points.
clarity
Work on expressing your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Proofreading for grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors can also enhance the clarity of your writing.
examples
You have included relevant and specific examples, such as the consideration of sugar consumption from childhood, which strengthen your argument.
content
You have made a good attempt to address multiple aspects of maintaining health, including diet, exercise, and psychological well-being.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.