some feel that governments should priotize healthcare instead of other important areas. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#feel #governments #priotize #healthcare #areas

Some people are of the opinion that the

healthcare

system

should be allocated more consideration rather than other important areas by governments. I strongly agree with

this

idea mainly

due to

its effect on the standard of living in a

country

. The

healthcare

system

is a key factor in the standard of living in a society.

This

means that,

as a result

of a suitable

healthcare

system

such

as efficient premises and skilful staff, people in a community are more likely to benefit from a peaceful atmosphere and less exposure to stress.

Due to

the fact that they believe they can take full advantage of the best mental and physical treatments when they face a problem.

This

can lead to a suitable society for working and living at

last

In addition

this

system

can play a critical role in the economy of the

country

. In terms of

this

, because of investment in

healthcare

Add an article

the healthcare

show examples

system

, the number of patients from different countries in order to access efficient treatment has increased.

For example

, the health care

system

of the UK can benefit from a wide variety of visitors from around the world

due to

its quality per annum.

This

can result in fostering the economy in the long run. Another group of people claims that

priotizing

Correct your spelling

prioritising

healthcare

rather than other important areas can decrease the pace of development. They insist that

this

can reduce the amount of the budget

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

allocated for education and infrastructure in a society.

However

, In my idea, it is not a valid opinion because private parties in each

country

can invest in these areas. They activities can help not to diminish the pace of the

devolpment

Correct your spelling

development

developments

in countries. In conclusion, I totally agree that the

healthcare

system

is of paramount importance to the government

due to

increase

Wrong verb form

increases

show examples

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

standard of living and

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

foster the economy of a

country

Submitted by kargar.mh1992 on Sun Jun 16 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and contributes to the argument. For example, expand on the economic benefit of healthcare investment with more statistics or examples.

coherence cohesion

Avoid minor typographical and grammatical errors, such as in 'priotizing' which should be 'prioritizing,' and 'devolpment' which should be 'development.' Proofreading can help to minimize these errors.

task achievement

Add more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to elevate your essay. For example, use synonyms for 'important' and 'system,' or vary sentence beginnings to make your writing more engaging.

task achievement

Include additional examples or data to make your argument more compelling and to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issue. For instance, data about healthcare improvements in specific countries could be valuable.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-structured, with clear paragraphs and a logical flow of ideas.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your stance on the topic.

task achievement

You provided relevant examples, such as the UK healthcare system attracting patients from different countries, which helped to support your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

312 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some feel that governments should priotize healthcare instead of other important areas. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In today's world, many people use mobile phones and the Internet to communicate with others. This has resulted in the use of new words and different forms of spelling and grammar. Are they a positive or negative development?

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+