IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think living in big cities is bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #cities #health
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In recent
year
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years
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, the topic of whether living in big
cities
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 will
effect
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affect
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for
Change preposition
apply
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Use synonyms
people
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’s
health
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. Many
people
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 believe that living in big
cities
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 is bad for
Use synonyms
people
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’s
health
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay
disagree
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disagrees
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 with
this
Linking Words
 statement. Some
people
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 believe that living in big
cities
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 will
bed
Correct your spelling
have a bad
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 effect
for
Change preposition
on
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Use synonyms
people
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’s
health
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. First and foremost,
people
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 will
are
Wrong verb form
be
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 more likely to
exposed
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be exposed
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 to more pollution if they live in
cities
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, since there
many
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are many
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 factories nearby. Many
peoples
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people
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 are more likely to be in contact with these harmful things, and they are more
easy
Correct word choice
likely
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 to get sick.
Therefore
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, Living in big
cities
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 will harm
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people
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’s
health
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.
However
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, living in big
cities
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 can
also
Linking Words
 be beneficial for
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people
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’s
health
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. First of all, big
cities
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 have good
health
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 care. If
people
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 are living in big
cities
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 , they will be able to access these facilities ,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can improve their
heath
Correct your spelling
health
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. In that case, if
people
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 are sick they can go to the
hospitals
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hospital
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 quickly, and
this
Linking Words
 will make their lives more convenient.
In addition
Linking Words
, living in big
cities
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also
Linking Words
 have better public transport which is good for the environment , because there will be
less
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fewer
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people
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 driving.
This
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 will reduce the level of pollution, leading to a better environment and
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
Use synonyms
people
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’s lives healthier.
Therefore
Linking Words
, living in big
cities
Use synonyms
 can have many benefits for
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
’s
health
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. In summary, in my viewpoint living in big
cities
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 can
also
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 be beneficial for
Use synonyms
people
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’s
health
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. And I believe that there are more advantages than disadvantages.
Submitted by 3100880965 on

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grammar
Improve grammatical range and accuracy by focusing on subject-verb agreement and sentence structure. For example, 'people will are more likely to exposed to more pollution' should be corrected to 'people are more likely to be exposed to more pollution.'
examples
Incorporate more specific and relevant examples to strengthen the arguments. For instance, mention specific health benefits provided by urban healthcare facilities or specific ways in which pollution in big cities can be mitigated.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a complete response to the task.
content
The essay discusses both the negative and positive aspects of living in big cities, showing an understanding of different perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • respiratory problems
  • population density
  • stress levels
  • mental health issues
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • healthcare facilities
  • cardiovascular diseases
  • psychological well-being
  • recreational areas
  • social networks
What to do next:
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