In many cities the population is increasing. Some say that the urbanisation process denies us knowing our neighbors, and this causes a loss of community sense. What is the main problem with this? What measures can be taken to overcome it?

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The growing urbanization in a majority of cities where the population increases at a faster pace loosens ties with
neighbours
, leading to the lack of community understanding. The rapid advancement of technology promotes a separate lifestyle in neighbourhoods, for which more interactive events should be encouraged to tighten their relationship. A spreading trend of individualism is another important factor contributing to
this
problem and
people
should be given collaborative activities where they are able to recognize the mutual importance. The primary reason for the disintegration among
neighbours
in cities is the increasing reliance on technological gadgets.
In other words
, more
people
tend to spend time online since a number of entertaining services are provided these days.
For instance
,
people
are more likely to be addicted to their own smartphones, with which they are able to enjoy watching movies, playing games and chatting with their friends.
Furthermore
, a rising level of satisfaction with
such
digital activities discourages communication with
neighbours
as they tend to spend indoors. In order to solve
this
, the government should provide some attractive opportunities including summer festivals and dancing concerts, where
people
can extend their local relationships.
Therefore
, it is increasingly important for them to meet face-to-face so they can gain an actual sense of trust and care that they cannot have
otherwise
. Another significant factor that prevents local
people
from interacting with each other comes from the growing individualism. Indeed,
people
are less concerned about others living close to them despite the growing population because they have become sufficiently independent.
For example
, there are fewer worries about food supplies
due to
plentiful vegetables and meat sold in grocery shops today.
Consequently
, they no longer need to cooperate with
neighbours
by working hard to produce agricultural products in open fields like they used to in the past.
Thus
, the lack of interaction in daily life can cause disinterest and even suspicions with one another, making them avoid contact in the first place, for which schools and local authorities should offer some programs to encourage them to work collaboratively so they are more encouraged to understand the importance of one another. In conclusion, the disintegration of
neighbours
is a striking issue caused by the rapid development of technology and prevalent individualism in modern society.
Accordingly
, the government seems to be required to take the initiative by holding various exciting events
as well as
educational activities for local residents to establish more intimate relationships.
Submitted by mizuho on

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task achievement
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents well-supported ideas, but could benefit from deeper exploration of the points made. Expanding on how technology and individualism precisely lead to neighborly disintegration would improve the argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs maintain a consistent focus on the main topic. This will help in maintaining logical structure throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively set the stage and wrap up the discussion.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with relevant examples, particularly when discussing the impact of technology and individualism on community ties.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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