IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

#countries #people #sums #money #railway #lines #trains #cities #transport
In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast
trains
 between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.
This
 essay covers why they put forward
this
 idea and what both views entail.
First,
there are a lot of different reasons for establishing new railroad tracks for very fast
trains
.
For instance
, in my opinion,
this
creating
Replace the word
creation
show examples
 plays a big role in efficiency and speed that high-speed
trains
 can significantly reduce travel time between cities, making transportation more efficient for commuters and businesses alike.
Second,
building the new railway lines may be important for economic benefits, so that it can stimulate economic growth by improving connectivity between regions, potentially boosting tourism and trade. The
last
 one is that it can impact environmental situations that high-speed
trains
 are more friendly than cars or planes, as they can help reduce carbon emissions per passenger-kilometre travelled.
On the other hand
, others argue for existing public transportation. They say upgrading them may be more cost-effective than building entirely railway lines.
Also
, maintenance and sustainability of roads
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 less challenging which in term can extend lifespan and reduce costs
Finally
,
due to
 its accessibility and equity people mostly rely on
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 for daily commuting, making its renovation more relevant. In conclusion, both ideas depend on various factors including efficiency, economic benefits, environmental impact, accessibility, and cost-effectiveness.
Therefore
, priorities should be considered before taking an action
Submitted by checkmyessay9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

content
Your essay effectively covers both perspectives, highlighting several strong points for each view. However, providing more specific examples and evidence could further strengthen your arguments.
language
Work on refining some sentences for clarity and grammatical correctness. For example, "this creating plays a big role" could be improved for better understanding.
structure
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain a logical structure. Some sentences feel somewhat disjointed and could benefit from better linking phrases.
structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument well.
content
The main points are relevant and address the prompt effectively, showcasing a good understanding of both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: