IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Environmental problems are too big for individual countries and individual persons to address. In other words, we have reached the stage where the only way to protect the environment is at an international level. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #persons #address #stage #environment #level
It is often said that environmental complications are high for respected nations and respected communities to solve.
In other words
,we reached the stage of protecting the environment at an overseas level.I will support
this
 view with arguments in the following paragraph.
To begin
 with,urbanisation is an important factor in
environmental
Correct article usage
the environmental
show examples
 dilemma.Mainly as a part of urbanisation, various greeneries are cut down to construct buildings.
As well as
Rephrase
Also
show examples
 the number of vehicles increased and
emission
Correct article usage
the emission
show examples
 of gases leads to air deterioration.
Consequently
Add a comma
Consequently,
show examples
 society may suffer
lung
Change preposition
from lung
show examples
 disorders
such
 as lung cancer ,and sound abuses
results
Change the verb form
result
show examples
 in hearing diseases like hearing loss.
For example
,the survey found that 20%of populations are diagnosed with lung cancer
due to
  air infection.
Furthermore
, the foolishness of humans leads to big consequences on the earth.
Consequently
,the temperature distractions occurred recently.unlike,the level of rain decreased,which leads to water deficiency.
For instance
, Research shows that
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
 will face drought in the coming years.Alternatively, families should focus on planting more trees and using electric vehicles to minimize air
pollution
.Which can make the environment free of
pollution
.
Besides
,
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 must avoid
molded
Change the spelling
moulded
show examples
 items,
instead
 of disposable
elastic
Correct your spelling
plastic
show examples
 items,try to use reusable
plasticitems
Correct your spelling
plastic items
.
Donot
Correct your spelling
Do not
 burn the plastic, which can
havea
Correct your spelling
have a
have
 negative impact on human health. In conclusion,
pollution
 is a big problem on the earth.Only humans can decrease the amount of
pollution
.
This
 causes various health problems in the crowd.
Instead
 of cutting flora,
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
 should plant more plants.Avoid using
fuel-containedvehicles
Correct your spelling
fuel-contained vehicles
.the government should encourage the folks to use electric vehicles.So I strongly agree with
this
 statement
Submitted by saniyasunny1848 on

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task achievement
Your introduction needs to clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the view. Your current introduction is vague and doesn't clearly outline your position.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for each point. Your paragraphs sometimes run into each other without clear separations.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. Using data and specific instances will make your arguments stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Work on making your essay more unified. Each paragraph should clearly relate to your main thesis and flow smoothly from one to the next.
task achievement
You have included various points concerning urbanization, human impact, and possible solutions, showing a good awareness of the topic.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument by talking about individual actions as well as international efforts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • environmental degradation
  • unified approach
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • resource constraints
  • technology constraints
  • international treaties
  • global standards
  • collective efforts
  • local initiatives
  • non-governmental organizations
  • corporations
  • environmental protection
  • specificities
  • innovative potential
What to do next:
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