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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below shows the distribution of different income groups in cities and regional centres of Australia

The chart below shows the distribution of different income groups in cities and regional centres of Australia
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The bar chart displays the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of four different income categories in
cities
Use synonyms
 and regional centres of Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that the Lower
middle
Use synonyms
 and
middle
Use synonyms
 groups are the highest,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest groups are high and low-income in both
cities
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 and regional centres.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, the proportion of the low-income
category
Use synonyms
 is around 13 per
cent
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 and it is the smallest
percentage
Use synonyms
 in
cities
Use synonyms
. The
middle
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 income group has the highest
percentage
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 in
cities
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, it makes up 35 per
cent
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 of all proportions. Below a third is the lower
middle
Use synonyms
 group and a fifth is the high
category
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in regional centres, the high
category
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 is the lowest
while
Linking Words
 the lower
middle
Use synonyms
 is the largest, it forms about over a third. The
percentage
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 of the low group is approximately 22 per
cent
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 and the
middle
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category
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 is above 25 per
cent
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, cities, middle, category, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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