Some peoplebelieve that the difference between the lowest paid jobs and tho highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In a time when inequality has risen to an unbridgable gap between the top 1% and the bottom 99, leading to another crisis with its full impact

falls

Verb problem

apply

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upon the working class, a series of changes needs to be introduced. Wealth distribution in terms of wage payment is part of the reform,

thus

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I agree strongly with its implementation. A tightening of the wage gap between the bottom-feeder and the top means an ease of living for the former. Regardless of its reformist political nature, we have to take into account that an immediate, material change in the quality of the

workers

Use synonyms

' lives is necessary on the first basis. An improvement in life quality will boost the

workers

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' capacity to be productive,

thus

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helping the economy. Yet more important is the process of demanding change by the

workers

Use synonyms

, through unionization

for example

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, that most certainly will strengthen their collective mindset to

further

Linking Words

push for a more systematic, radical transformation.

Consequently

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, following the complexity of

this

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issue, even my agreement requires serious counter-points and analysis to understand the

limit

Fix the agreement mistake

limits

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such

Linking Words

measures. We have to take into account that in a capitalistic system,

workers

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are always "exploited" for the labour they did, and never get the value of their own work back. So merely reducing the gap between a higher paying job and the lower one will not necessarily stop the inequality we face today, rather only temporarily pausing it. History has shown us how welfare programs led to another form of crisis in capitalism, and almost always countered back by a completely opposite direction that would

further

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burden the

workers

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In the end, reducing inequality through wage payment is still important to pursue in order to make our life quality better.

Nevertheless

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while

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fighting for it we

also

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have to keep in mind the limits of our own demands.

Submitted by arsyiiimuhammad061 on Mon Jun 17 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a strong argument for reducing the wage gap, with clear points on how it would improve workers' quality of life and productivity. However, you could strengthen your argument by including more specific examples or statistics to support your points.

coherence cohesion

While your essay is logically structured, some sentences could be clearer. For example, the phrase 'a series of changes needs to be introduced' could be rephrased to improve readability. Simplifying some of your language will enhance clarity and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument.

task achievement

You present a well-rounded argument, acknowledging counterpoints and analyzing them to present a balanced view. This adds depth to your essay.

coherence cohesion

The essay is logically structured with clear main points supported by explanations, providing a coherent flow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

income inequality
equitable society
poverty levels
economic stimulation
social unrest
social cohesion
pay gap
solidarity
alienation
morale
productivity
higher education
challenging roles
innovation
growth
exorbitant salaries
fair compensation
essential services
balanced salary structure
adequately compensated
competitive edge
progressive taxation
redistribute wealth
public investment

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Some peoplebelieve that the difference between the lowest paid jobs and tho highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Some people believe that the good leaders are born, whereas others hold the opinion that leadership qualities can be obtained during the life.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that climate change could have a negative effect on business. Other people think that climate change could create more business opportunities. Discuss both views give your own opinion.