Some peoplebelieve that the difference between the lowest paid jobs and tho highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In a time when inequality has risen to an unbridgable gap between the top 1% and the bottom 99, leading to another crisis with its full impact
falls
Verb problem
apply
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upon the working class, a series of changes needs to be introduced. Wealth distribution in terms of wage payment is part of the reform,
thus
I agree strongly with its implementation. A tightening of the wage gap between the bottom-feeder and the top means an ease of living for the former. Regardless of its reformist political nature, we have to take into account that an immediate, material change in the quality of the
workers
' lives is necessary on the first basis. An improvement in life quality will boost the
workers
' capacity to be productive,
thus
helping the economy. Yet more important is the process of demanding change by the
workers
, through unionization
for example
, that most certainly will strengthen their collective mindset to
further
push for a more systematic, radical transformation.
Consequently
, following the complexity of
this
issue, even my agreement requires serious counter-points and analysis to understand the
limit
Fix the agreement mistake
limits
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of
such
measures. We have to take into account that in a capitalistic system,
workers
are always "exploited" for the labour they did, and never get the value of their own work back. So merely reducing the gap between a higher paying job and the lower one will not necessarily stop the inequality we face today, rather only temporarily pausing it. History has shown us how welfare programs led to another form of crisis in capitalism, and almost always countered back by a completely opposite direction that would
further
burden the
workers
In the end, reducing inequality through wage payment is still important to pursue in order to make our life quality better.
Nevertheless
,
while
fighting for it we
also
have to keep in mind the limits of our own demands.
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task achievement
Your essay provides a strong argument for reducing the wage gap, with clear points on how it would improve workers' quality of life and productivity. However, you could strengthen your argument by including more specific examples or statistics to support your points.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured, some sentences could be clearer. For example, the phrase 'a series of changes needs to be introduced' could be rephrased to improve readability. Simplifying some of your language will enhance clarity and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
You present a well-rounded argument, acknowledging counterpoints and analyzing them to present a balanced view. This adds depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with clear main points supported by explanations, providing a coherent flow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • income inequality
  • equitable society
  • poverty levels
  • economic stimulation
  • social unrest
  • social cohesion
  • pay gap
  • solidarity
  • alienation
  • morale
  • productivity
  • higher education
  • challenging roles
  • innovation
  • growth
  • exorbitant salaries
  • fair compensation
  • essential services
  • balanced salary structure
  • adequately compensated
  • competitive edge
  • progressive taxation
  • redistribute wealth
  • public investment
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