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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Topic: The map below shows the development of the village of Rye mouth between 1995 and present.

Topic: The map below shows the development of the village of Rye mouth between 1995 and present.
#topic #development #village #rye #mouth
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The supplied
map
Use synonyms
 illustrates a plethora of changes
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
show examples
 occurred in Rye
mouth
Capitalize word
Mouth
show examples
village
Use synonyms
 between 1995 and
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
; a number of dramatic developments take place which alter the layout of the
village
Use synonyms
 completely within the period. It is clearly shown that the northern part of the
village
Use synonyms
undergoes
Wrong verb form
is undergoing
show examples
 significant changes. Both farmland and forest park are replaced by the golf and tennis court in the northeast of the
map
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, housing in the northwest of the Rye mouth is extended.
According to
Linking Words
 the maps, the south of the
village
Use synonyms
 has a number of tangible transformations.
While
Linking Words
 the hotel in the southeast of the
map
Use synonyms
 remains flat, the car park is established next to it.
In addition
Linking Words
, the shops are replaced by restaurants
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the left side of the hotel.
Although
Linking Words
 the café remains in the same location, the shops are
knock
Wrong verb form
knocked
show examples
 down to make way for the restaurant in the southwest of the
village
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the fish market which
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 in front of the shops
are
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 converted into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
apartments, and the fishing port in the south of the
map
Use synonyms
 was demolished.
Submitted by abhari1997 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words map, village with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
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