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Writing Samples /
Band 6

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #people #governments #money #life #planets #waste #earth
Nowadays, our
planet
 has too many problems that seem like we could never solve,
such
 as global warming, natural disasters, overpopulation, and many more. For that reason, some
people
 ask the current government to publicly fund a plan to look for
life
 on other planets in our universe.
This
 sparks an argument between the
people
 who are against and in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of that scheme. The most common argument from
people
 who are in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of a public fund for
space
exploration
 related to
life
 on other planets is that we could never solve the problems that we are currently having on
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Earth.
According to
 them, we have passed our salvage point, where we could never revert everything bad we have done to our earth.
Therefore
, we have to start searching for another place to live and
migrating
Wrong verb form
migrate
show examples
 there afterwards.
On the other hand
,
space
exploration
 is an expensive thing. So far, the farthest place we have managed to send humankind is the moon. It means that we are not even able to be out of our solar system yet.
As a consequence
, an effort to search for
Planet
 B needs extensive time and costs a large sum of money.
Hence
,
people
 who are against it argue that
this
 effort is only a waste of money and we should be focusing on solving our current problems
instead
. In my opinion,
space
exploration
 research is important, and we should not stop that effort to search for
life
 in our universe.
However
, I think we should spend more money on other things that we need to solve, like climate change,
instead
 of funding
space
exploration
.
Besides
, if we are able to find a new
planet
 for us to live on, it does not mean that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
extraterrestrial
life
 will
accept
Verb problem
allow
show examples
 us to live there. If
such
 is the case,
then
 are we sure that we will not destroy
Planet
 B like we destroy our Earth? All-in-all, interstellar
exploration
 is a field that we should not stop doing
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research in.
Nonetheless
, we should not increase the public budget in terms of looking for
Planet
 B.
Instead
, we should allocate more funds towards mitigating and adapting to our current problem.
Submitted by rianadmaja on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a well-rounded discussion and clearly addresses both viewpoints. However, it can be improved by providing more specific examples and evidence to support your claims.
coherence cohesion
Although your essay is cohesive and logical, you can improve coherence by making your transitions between ideas smoother. Phrases like 'Additionally,' or 'Furthermore,' can help connect your points better.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion is well-structured, but reinforcing your main points slightly more can add strength to your argument. Summarize your opinion briefly in the conclusion.
task achievement
You provided a balanced view of both perspectives, which is necessary for a high band score in task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your logical structure is solid, and your essay flows in a coherent and cohesive manner.
coherence cohesion
Both your introduction and conclusion are well-framed and effectively present your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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