IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

large fires in houses and apartment buildings are a serious risk in many urban areas. What are the main factors leading to fires? How could this serious issue be addressed by both citizens and authorities?

#fires #houses #apartment #buildings #risk #areas #factors #citizens #authorities
It is widely argued that residences and
apartments
 that have large
fires
 can be a critical
risk
 in some urban areas. Several problems have resulted from
this
 peril and a number of effective solutions from both individuals and the government should tackle them. There are two primary reasons why the widespread
fires
 occurring in
houses
 and
apartments
 are a destructive
risk
 in many cities.
Firstly
, most housing planning in urban areas is constructed in a crowded and uncontrolled way because of the high rate of population, especially in many developing cities. As a wide range of buildings do not have safe construction which easily spreads
fires
 become larger, whenever citizens may suffer from damaged
fires
 not only from their
houses
 but
also
 from their neighborhoods.
Secondly
, it is likely to use electric equipment in some
houses
 and
apartments
, since the power source is overloaded leading to detonating combustion,
therefore
fires
 will spread out immediately and largely. People fear to
risk
 of
fires
 in unsafe buildings and equipment. Some measures should be taken to mitigate the problem of
fires
 in
houses
 and
apartments
. One step is that the government must enhance the management of urban residences more sensible and stricter. By controlling housing planning logically, many dwelling areas will have enough space not to spread any fire. Another essential measure is people should take the initiative to use electric devices correctly and safely. So if each person is responsible for their uses, there will be a miniature
risk
 of
fires
 as their recklessness. Take a typical example of Van Phuc,
houses
 there were built in a controlled way which is not likely to cause destructive
fires
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 Van Phuc's people were directed to live safely and carefully. In conclusion, the large of
fires
 is a concern issue for all cities and solutions should be implemented urgently to tackle
this
 problem
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central theme. Introduce the topic sentence clearly, expand on it with supporting information, and conclude with a statement that reinforces the paragraph's main point.
task achievement
Stick to the topic and provide a more comprehensive response with detailed examples to support your points. Avoid going off-topic or addressing unrelated issues.
lexical resource
Improve your lexical resource by using a wider range of vocabulary and avoiding repetition of words. Show variety in language use and aim to demonstrate knowledge of collocations and less common vocabulary.
grammatical range
Use a wider range of grammatical structures accurately. Include complex sentences and vary sentence structure to enhance readability and demonstrate grammatical competence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: