IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Cycling is a healthier and more environmentally friendly form of transport. Nevertheless, cycling is getting less popular. What are the reasons of this trend? What can be done to make cycling more popular?

Our modern lifestyles provides us with little or no opportunities to exercise. Busy schedules, sitting around desks,
working from home
Add a hyphen
working-from-home
show examples
 arrangements and
overall
Linking Words
 dependence on technology
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 made physical activity a seldom affair. Cycling to work or school
Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 to be a norm in many parts of the world but in recent times
people
Use synonyms
 have opted to
use
Use synonyms
 other means of transport.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine why cyclists are on the decline and how cycling can make a comeback. If something is on the decline it is vital that we first analyse the factors behind the decline. A major question that needs to be answered here is, why are
people
Use synonyms
 choosing to
use
Use synonyms
 other means of transport?
Due to
Linking Words
urabniation
Correct your spelling
urbanization
urbanisation
cities
Use synonyms
 have become crowded. Traffic jams during rush hour have gotten worse,
this
Linking Words
 has resulted in
cities
Use synonyms
 prioritising
building
Add an article
the building
show examples
 of new roads and mega infrastructure projects. From
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that blend into lengthy tunnels to new metro systems which connect different parts of the
city
Use synonyms
. Governments are investing most of their resources away from cycling tracks, or “
cyclist friendly
Add a hyphen
cyclist-friendly
show examples
” roads. In simple words using other means of transport has become convenient. You can cover longer distances quickly. Urbanisation has
alsso
Correct your spelling
also
 fueled the growth of
cities
Use synonyms
 beyond traditional boundaries. Commercialisation
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and gentrification of many areas
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
lead
Replace the word
led
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
 to spread across a wide area. The result of
this
Linking Words
 expansion means increased distances which takes away the element of leisure out of cycling. A lot of
people
Use synonyms
 live in
suburbs
Correct article usage
the suburbs
show examples
 and work in the
city
Use synonyms
, cyclists need longer time to cover long distances which makes cycling impractical for many. Cycling can be encouraged through both traditional and innovative means. When it comes to traditional methods,
cities
Use synonyms
 can invest in lengthy designated cycling tracks. These tracks will not only add a sense of safety but
also
Linking Words
 encourage cycling enthusiasts to start using their cycles again. A major problem is with
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
show examples
, to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
convenience.
This
Linking Words
 is where technology can play a vital role. There are plenty of
car
Use synonyms
 rental services which allow you to locate, book and pick a
car
Use synonyms
 using your phone. These cars are parked all over the
city
Use synonyms
, customers can pick a
car
Use synonyms
 in a location nearby, drive around and drop off the
car
Use synonyms
 at another designated location. Similar smartphone applications can be used to make cycles available across different parts of the
city
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 way
people
Use synonyms
 can
coming
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
 from far away, can easily
use
Use synonyms
 a bike within the
city
Use synonyms
 and go back home without having to make major compromises. Cycling needs to
encouraged
Add a missing verb
be encouraged
show examples
 in schools. Young
people
Use synonyms
 should be encouraged to
use
Use synonyms
 their bikes rather than
use
Use synonyms
 other
transports
Change the noun form
transport
show examples
 methods. One of the best ways to do
this
Linking Words
 is to have a
cycle only
Add a hyphen
cycle-only
show examples
 day once a month where you are only allowed on campus if you come by cycle. Combining traditional, and innovative methods and awareness amongst the youth will result in cycling making a comeback.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your essay addresses the causes behind the decline in cycling and proposes solutions, it would benefit from more specific examples and evidence to support your claims.
task achievement
Clarify complex sentences and ensure all ideas are fully developed.
task achievement
Elaborate further on the proposed solutions, providing more concrete steps or examples where possible.
coherence cohesion
Improve the flow between your ideas by using transition words or phrases, and ensure paragraphs are well-developed to maintain coherence.
coherence cohesion
Proofread for small grammatical errors and typographical mistakes to enhance overall readability.
structure
Your introduction clearly sets the stage for the discussion and your concluding paragraph effectively summarizes the main points.
task achievement
You have addressed both parts of the question—identifying reasons for the decline in cycling and suggesting solutions.
writing style
Use of varied vocabulary and sentence structures makes the essay engaging.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: