Some people say that older people should live with their adult children, while others think they should live in homes specially built for old people. Which do you think is a better practice?

In
this
modern era,
people
have been splitting their responsibilities than ever before. Some
people
believe that senior citizens should stay with their family
members
while
others think that they should stay in old
age
homes. I think pension
houses
are a satisfactory process for mature
parents
because they acquire medical facilities
along with
reduced
loneliness
.
This
essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.
To begin
with, old
age
homes are
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
better place for senior citizens than staying with their family
members
because mature
parents
should require medical attention
due to
elderly diseases. But in
this
fast-paced era,
people
do not have more time to nurse their
parents
, so numerous
elder
Correct your spelling
eldercare
show examples
care
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
are established around the nations
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
providing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ultra-modern medical facilities to take
care
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
older generations.
For example
, many Indians are settled in foreign nations because of their career perspectives but they
sent
Wrong verb form
send
show examples
their
parents
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
elder
care
centers
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
provide ultra-modern medical and accommodation facilities.
This
means they
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
neglect their responsibility
instead
of
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they protect their
parents
.
Furthermore
, senior
people
should
Verb problem
apply
show examples
need
accompany
Correct your spelling
company
show examples
in their
elder
Correct your spelling
older
show examples
age
but their family
members
are busy
to earn
Change the verb form
earning
show examples
money.
This
means old-
age
houses
provide the environment for reduced
loneliness
with the same-
age
people
.
For instance
, old-
age
houses
conduct numerous games and play sessions
for reducing
Change preposition
to reduce
show examples
loneliness
and missing family
members
. Needless to say, pension
houses
are
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
better place
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
senior citizens
live
Fix the infinitive
to live
show examples
than adults.
To conclude
, elder
care
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
provide eye-to-eye medical attention to
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
age
population
as well as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
reduces
loneliness
and gives a chance to meet the same
age
individuals under one umbrella.
Therefore
, I think elder
care
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
are the better place to live
senior
Fix the agreement mistake
seniors
show examples
people
.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, try to present your ideas in a more organized manner with clear and distinct paragraphs for each point.
task achievement
Some of your sentences could be clearer. Make sure to proofread your writing to correct any grammatical inaccuracies and improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and give a good overview of the essay topic and your stance on it.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional support
  • familial bonding
  • isolated
  • heritage
  • traditions
  • personalized care
  • wheelchair accessibility
  • facilities
  • community of peers
  • social interactions
  • mental health
  • generation gaps
  • lifestyle
  • pressure of caregiving
  • feelings of abandonment
  • isolation
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