IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Thefts per thousand vehicles in four countries between 1990 and 1999.

#thefts #thousand #vehicles #four #countries
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The provided table depicts information about private vehicle theft
rates
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 between 1990 and 1999 in Great
Britain
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, Sweden, France and Canada.
Overall
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, what stands out from the chart is that British private car ownership was the worst experience in terms of burglars’ attraction, leaving Great
Britain
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 as the most popular destination.
However
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, car stolen
rates
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 in Sweden, France and Canada fluctuated over the
years
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 and remained less significant. In 1990, the theft’s most liked location was Great
Britain
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, accounting for 17.
Furthermore
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, steady growth during the upcoming 3
years
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 indicated numbers at the portion of 19.
This
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 is continued with some changes that eventually hit the peak of 20 in 1996. Whilst violence
rates
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 in Great
Britain
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 started a significant decline during the next 4
years
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, they finished at the level of 14 in 1999.
On the contrary
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, Sweden’s statistics made up 6 thefts per thousand vehicles in 1990.
Nevertheless
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, the country became more popular over the
years
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, gradually raising murder
rates
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 up to 13. France and Canada had more stable shares over the
years
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, with numbers around 7 throughout the calendar
years
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.
Submitted by gainutdin87 on

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coherence
It's important to provide a clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure you summarize overall trends succinctly before diving into details.
cohesion
Logical flow between paragraphs is crucial. Aim for smooth transitions and clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
coherence
Avoid phrases that could confuse the reader, like ‘burglars’ attraction’. Terms need to be precise and relevant to the context.
task response
Ensure all main points are supported by specific data from the chart. Additionally, interpret the data accurately, avoiding any potential misinterpretations.
task response
Try to clarify and expand on points where necessary. Some sections are slightly vague and would benefit from further elaboration or examples.
coherence
The general structure of the essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs and some concluding thoughts, is well-maintained.
task response
The essay covers all the significant data presented in the chart and gives an overview of trends.
task response
Main points are supported by figures from the chart, which strengthens the response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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