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Band 4.5

Thefts per thousand vehicles in four countries between 1990 and 1999

#thefts #thousand #vehicles #four #countries
The provided table depicts information about private vehicle
theft
rates
 per
thousand
vehicles
 between 1990 and 1999 in Great Britain, Sweden,
France
, and
Canada
.
Overall
, the data shows that Great Britain consistently had the highest vehicle
theft
rates
 throughout the period, peaking in 1996.
In contrast
, Sweden,
France
, and
Canada
 experienced lower and more fluctuating
rates
 of vehicle
theft
. In 1990, Great Britain had the highest
theft
rate
 at 17
thefts
 per
thousand
vehicles
.
This
rate
 increased steadily, reaching a peak of 20
thefts
 per
thousand
 in 1996, before declining significantly to 14
thefts
 per
thousand
 by 1999. Sweden began with a relatively low
rate
 of 6
thefts
 per
thousand
vehicles
 in 1990.
However
,
this
rate
 increased gradually over the years, reaching 13
thefts
 per
thousand
 by the end of the period in 1999.
France
 and
Canada
 experienced more stable
theft
rates
 over the years.
France
's
rate
 remained around 7
thefts
 per
thousand
vehicles
 throughout the period,
while
Canada
's
rate
 fluctuated slightly but
also
 averaged around 7
thefts
 per
thousand
vehicles
.
Submitted by gainutdin87 on

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task achievement
You have provided a clear and concise overview of the data, which shows a good understanding of the task at hand. However, consider including a brief conclusion to summarize the key findings.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, use more varied linking words and phrases to connect your points smoothly. This will make your essay flow better and be more pleasant to read.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is strong, with a clear progression from one point to the next.
task achievement
You have given relevant and specific examples to support your main points, which strengthens your response.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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