More and more people are moving away from agriculture background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be the consequences of this. What solutions can you offer.
Most
of
Change preposition
apply
people
are moving away from countryside
to go to modern cities Add an article
the countryside
for looking
for Change preposition
to look
job
. Add an article
a job
It is clear that
this
issue has impact
on society. I will explain my own opinion Add an article
an impact
as well as
several solutions with some examples in further
paragraphs.
To begin
with , the majority of people
intend to work in the city
because of several reasons such
as ,
professional Remove the comma
apply
job
opportunities in the city
, the existence of more facilities
and improvement in advanced education for their children . Hence
, they prefer to live and have a career in the city
. As a concequence
, cities become so crowded and it causes more demand for Correct your spelling
consequence
job
. So , Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
government
should provide Add an article
the government
much
jobs and more Change the quantifier
many
facilities
in the city
due to
increasing
population. Correct article usage
the increasing
In addition
, managers of governments
should develope healt's
Correct your spelling
develop health's
centers
to provide essential Change the spelling
centres
people
's need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
such
as ,
medical and hospital . Remove the comma
apply
Thus
, it causes extra cost
for Fix the agreement mistake
costs
governments
. On the other hand
, increasing population leads to increasing demand for entertainment facilities
. Since ,
all children need playground and cinema for their leisure time.
In my opinion , Remove the comma
apply
governments
must expand Correct article usage
the countrysides
countrysides
and provide Replace the word
countries
especial
Correct your spelling
special
facilities
for people
by create
Change the verb form
creating
job
opportunities in out of cities
. Add a hyphen
out-of-cities
Moreover
, governments
can encourage people
with decreasing
Change preposition
to decrease
tax
on Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
works
. Fix the agreement mistake
work
Also
, organs should give a good career that is
suitable with
their sexes and ages.
Change preposition
for
To sum up
, most people
like to go to the city
from countryside
because of many reasons. Correct article usage
the countryside
For instance
, all people
in countryside
are not Add an article
the countryside
illitrate
. Some of them are educated Correct your spelling
illiterate
people
. Hence
, they want to improve. On the ground that they think agricalture
can not be a perfect Correct your spelling
agriculture
job
for their future. However
, it is duty
of Add an article
the duty
governments
that survey their talents and give a chance for living
in Change preposition
to live
city
to them.Add an article
the city
a city
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coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your ideas. Organize your essay in a clearer manner, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea. Ensure your sentences and thoughts transition smoothly from one to the next.
task achievement
Although you have addressed the task, adding more relevant and specific examples would strengthen your arguments and make them more compelling.
task achievement
Your essay could benefit from more varied vocabulary and sentence structures. This would not only make your essay more engaging but also demonstrate a higher level of linguistic proficiency.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid grammatical errors, particularly with complex sentences. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, punctuation, and sentence structure to make your essay more polished.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your arguments well.
task achievement
You have identified several key issues related to the topic and have suggested reasonable solutions to address them.
task achievement
The essay covers the consequences of urban migration and offers balanced perspectives on the impact and possible solutions.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...