More and more people are moving away from agriculture background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be the consequences of this. What solutions can you offer.

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Most
of
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apply
show examples
people
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are moving away from
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
to go to modern cities
for looking
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to look
show examples
for
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job
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a job
show examples
.
It is clear that
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this
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issue has
impact
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an impact
show examples
on society. I will explain my own opinion
as well as
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several solutions with some examples in
further
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paragraphs.
To begin
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with , the majority of
people
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intend to work in the
city
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because of several reasons
such
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as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
professional
job
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opportunities in the
city
Use synonyms
, the existence of more
facilities
Use synonyms
and improvement in advanced education for their children .
Hence
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, they prefer to live and have a career in the
city
Use synonyms
. As a
concequence
Correct your spelling
consequence
, cities become so crowded and it causes more demand for
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. So ,
government
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the government
show examples
should provide
much
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many
show examples
jobs and more
facilities
Use synonyms
in the
city
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due to
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increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
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population.
In addition
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, managers of
governments
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should
develope healt's
Correct your spelling
develop health's
centers
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centres
show examples
to provide essential
people
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's
need
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needs
show examples
such
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as
,
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apply
show examples
medical and hospital .
Thus
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, it causes extra
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
for
governments
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.
On the other hand
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, increasing population leads to increasing demand for entertainment
facilities
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. Since
,
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apply
show examples
all children need playground and cinema for their leisure time. In my opinion ,
governments
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must expand
Correct article usage
the countrysides
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countrysides
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countries
show examples
and provide
especial
Correct your spelling
special
show examples
facilities
Use synonyms
for
people
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by
create
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creating
show examples
job
Use synonyms
opportunities in
out of cities
Add a hyphen
out-of-cities
show examples
.
Moreover
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,
governments
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can encourage
people
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with decreasing
Change preposition
to decrease
show examples
tax
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taxes
show examples
on
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
Also
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, organs should give a good career
that is
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suitable
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
their sexes and ages.
To sum up
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, most
people
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like to go to the
city
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from
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
because of many reasons.
For instance
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, all
people
Use synonyms
in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
are not
illitrate
Correct your spelling
illiterate
. Some of them are educated
people
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.
Hence
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, they want to improve. On the ground that they think
agricalture
Correct your spelling
agriculture
can not be a perfect
job
Use synonyms
for their future.
However
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, it is
duty
Add an article
the duty
show examples
of
governments
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that survey their talents and give a chance
for living
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to live
show examples
in
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
to them.
Submitted by rastaebrahimifar on

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coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your ideas. Organize your essay in a clearer manner, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea. Ensure your sentences and thoughts transition smoothly from one to the next.
task achievement
Although you have addressed the task, adding more relevant and specific examples would strengthen your arguments and make them more compelling.
task achievement
Your essay could benefit from more varied vocabulary and sentence structures. This would not only make your essay more engaging but also demonstrate a higher level of linguistic proficiency.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid grammatical errors, particularly with complex sentences. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, punctuation, and sentence structure to make your essay more polished.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your arguments well.
task achievement
You have identified several key issues related to the topic and have suggested reasonable solutions to address them.
task achievement
The essay covers the consequences of urban migration and offers balanced perspectives on the impact and possible solutions.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urban migration
  • Rural depopulation
  • Workforce allocation
  • Infrastructure strain
  • Economic disparity
  • Environmental degradation
  • Traditional practices
  • Cultural heritage
  • Employment opportunities
  • Agricultural decline
  • Food production
  • Overpopulation
  • Pollution levels
  • Industrial activity
What to do next:
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