Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have a greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #women #parents #men #role #children #societies

It is thought by some people that

women

have a relatively better parenting style compared to

men

and for that reason, raising

children

in many cultures is mainly given to

women

for the dominant part.

However

, some others argue that

men

are just as competent as

women

this

matter.

This

essay agrees that

women

take

care

of their offspring better

while

partially agreeing that

men

are just as capable. On the one hand, many think that ladies are one step ahead at parenting and educating owing to the maternal nature

that is

inherently laid within their psyche.

This

also

intersects with gender roles in traditional households

that

Correct determiner usage

The

show examples

ladies' presence in the family is to take

care

of the

children

, husband and house only,

while

guys are the providers who work outside to make ends meet.

Moreover

this

matter is

also

proven in the case of single parents from both divorces and deaths. A clear example from Indonesia is of the 67 million heads of households, 14,8% are single mothers and only 4% are single fathers. On the other side, it cannot be denied that guys could take

care

of their

children

to some extent that does not involve biological duties like breastfeeding.

However

, guys are often considered as not as competent as ladies with major cases where divorced

men

or those whose wives pass away, are getting married shortly afterwards and the reasons are mainly to find partners to take

care

of their

children

or households.

Thus

, most of the time guys’ capability in parenthood, independently,

in particular

, depends on themselves. To wrap things up,

women

may have a greater role in parenting

due to

their nature and doctrine of conventional gender roles in families.

Nevertheless

men

are as competent as

women

despite biological duties depending on the individuals themselves, whether they want to commit to taking

care

of their

children

or not.

Submitted by 2024successielts on Mon Dec 18 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Although your essay contains a logical structure, it would be beneficial to further develop your arguments in a more balanced manner, reflecting more deeply on each perspective. Your paragraphs indicate an understanding of the logical flow, but using a range of cohesive devices and varied paragraph structures would enhance the essay's readability and strength of argumentation.

Task Achievement

You addressed the task and provided your opinion, however, the response could be improved by offering a more nuanced discussion and evaluating both views thoroughly. Ensuring that your ideas are fully developed, supported by detailed examples, and clearly elaborated will contribute to a higher task achievement score. Additionally, focus on providing specific, relevant examples to fortify your arguments and reflect a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

314 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have a greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Government should put taxes on unhealthy food so that people eat healthy foods more. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, governments encourage businesses to move outside of the cities to solve the problems of housing and transport in the cities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this policy?

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree with this statement?