In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
many
countries the amount of Change preposition
In many
crime
is increasing, I believe the factor of that is
about
Change preposition
apply
the
education and weak law enforcement so there Correct article usage
apply
is
many people not afraid Change the verb form
are
to
the rules and because of lack of education that makes many people Change preposition
of
doesn't
think twice Verb problem
do not
to commit
a Change preposition
about committing
crime
such
as stealing goods, kidnapping and even murder.
not that all the minimum profession
it's Fix the agreement mistake
professions
also
can be the factor why the
people can commit a Correct article usage
apply
crime
for example
the
person who can't get a job but Correct article usage
apply
he
must Correct pronoun usage
apply
to
pay he apartment bills Change the verb form
apply
he
can Correct pronoun usage
apply
stealing
to get money or Change the verb form
steal
be stealing
robbed
a supermarket. my friend Wrong verb form
rob
also
became a victim of theft in that case I
Correct pronoun usage
apply
and
my friend decided to report it to the police but until now the thief Correct word choice
apply
was
not found.
so to reduce Verb problem
has
Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
crime
, governments need to implement policies that promote economic equity, such
as creating job opportunities, increasing minimum wages, and providing social welfare programs.Submitted by kelly on
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task response
The essay begins with an attempt to address the prompt but lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure to include a brief introductory paragraph that introduces the topic and outlines your main points. Also, wrap up your essay with a conclusion that summarizes the main arguments and restates your stance.
coherence cohesion
Regarding coherence and cohesion, the essay can be improved by organizing the ideas in a more logical structure. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and use linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs smoothly.
task response
The points made about education and law enforcement are relevant but need further development. Make sure to elaborate on these points by providing examples, explanations, and evidence. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
language
The essay contains a number of grammatical errors and lacks variety in sentence structure. Working on grammar and varying sentence structures will make your writing clearer and more engaging.
idea
The essay identifies relevant causes of crime, such as weak law enforcement and lack of education. Recognizing multiple factors shows a good understanding of the topic.
support
There is an attempt to provide examples and relate the discussion to personal experiences, which adds a personal touch to the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.