Culture around the world has become more similar to the other countries then it was before. State reasons, example and conclude if it is a positive or negative trend?

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Cultures
around the world have evolved and each country has their own uniqueness. Unfortunately,
cultures
between countries have now become similar to each other.
Hence
, in
this
essay, I will discuss why
this
may give false information and for some reasons that are set out below.
To begin
with, every country in the world is special in their own way. These
specialties
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specialities
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are expressed in the form of
culture
.
In addition
,
culture
itself can be divided into many areas
such
as national dishes, language, national monuments and traditional
clothings
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clothing
items of clothing
articles of clothing
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. In fact,
Merlion
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the Merlion
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Statue has become Singapore's national statue and
also
Batik
as
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is
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a traditional clothing
for
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in
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Indonesia
.
Therefore
,
culture
has become a main feature for each country to provide popularity and attraction for tourists to visit.
However
, in some cases,
culture
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cultures
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between countries get mixed up
due to
similarity
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similarities
show examples
.
For example
,
Indonesia
and Malaysia have many in common
such
as the language used. Both Bahasa
Indonesia
and Bahasa Melayu were similar.
On the other hand
, There was a moment when Malaysia claimed the song “Halo Bandung” and the dish “Nasi Goreng” to be a part of their
culture
and originated from Malaysia.
That is
to say, both “Halo Bandung” and “Nasi Goreng” were actually from
Indonesia
. Despite
this
case,
cultures
do not have any patents.
Hence
, the
relation
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relationship
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between
culture
and its similarity with other countries can be confusing and may create false information for tourists.
To conclude
, without any patent,
cultures
around the world can be mixed up and similar to one another.
Submitted by kelly on

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task achievement
In the introduction, clearly state whether you believe the increasing similarity of cultures is a positive or negative trend. Your current stance is not explicitly clear.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. The essay's flow can be improved for better readability.
task achievement
Expand on the reasons and examples given. Providing more detail and a wider range of examples would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The essay features some relevant examples, such as the Merlion Statue and Batik.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is appropriately divided into paragraphs, with a clear beginning, middle, and end.
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