Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, it is believed that living in megacities has some negative impacts on human health.
This
essay will present some reasons why I am not partly convinced by this
statement.
On the one hand, staying in modern urban has some useful benefits and rights. Healthcare in big cities is more outstanding. For example
, residents can find medical infrastructures such
as hospitals everywhere without going for long distances like in the countryside. Besides
, healthcare services are provided to patients with more full facilities. Additionally
, some gym centres appear for inhabitants' physical health training. Furthermore
, not only physical health but people's well-being can also
be improved. This
can be mentioned as going to the library or coffee shops to relax after stressful times or participating in yoga classes, which help physically and make the student's spirit comfortable.
On the other hand
, some issues need to be paid attention to. Firstly
, living in cities means that there are risks of being more sick. Because the smoke and dust are released from factories and plans, therefore
residents can easily contract dangerous diseases such
as cancer. Moreover
, workers are always busy with their large workload, so they often do not care about their diet. They can just eat fast food or junk food to finish their meals. That means labourers easily become obese.
In conclusion, living in modern regions will negatively affect people's physical and mental condition, but in my view, it is nothing compared with the benefits. The important thing is that residents can understand clearly themselves and the government should have strategies to reduce the drawbacks.Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on
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task achievement
Develop a clearer stance in the introduction to make your position unmistakable.
task achievement
Ensure that each supporting point is fully elaborated and directly linked to the main argument.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words more effectively to guide the reader through your arguments and ensure a logical flow.
language
Address some minor grammatical issues and enhance vocabulary usage to improve clarity and expression.
structure
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow the writer's arguments.
task achievement
Adequate examples were given, such as the availability of healthcare services and gym centers, to support main points.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges both sides of the argument, showing a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with points divided into separate paragraphs for clarity.
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