Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, it is believed that living in megacities has some negative impacts on human health.
This
Linking Words
essay will present some reasons why I am not partly convinced by
this
Linking Words
statement. On the one hand, staying in modern urban has some useful benefits and rights. Healthcare in big cities is more outstanding.
For example
Linking Words
, residents can find medical infrastructures
such
Linking Words
as hospitals everywhere without going for long distances like in the countryside.
Besides
Linking Words
, healthcare services are provided to patients with more full facilities.
Additionally
Linking Words
, some gym centres appear for inhabitants' physical health training.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, not only physical health but people's well-being can
also
Linking Words
be improved.
This
Linking Words
can be mentioned as going to the library or coffee shops to relax after stressful times or participating in yoga classes, which help physically and make the student's spirit comfortable.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some issues need to be paid attention to.
Firstly
Linking Words
, living in cities means that there are risks of being more sick. Because the smoke and dust are released from factories and plans,
therefore
Linking Words
residents can easily contract dangerous diseases
such
Linking Words
as cancer.
Moreover
Linking Words
, workers are always busy with their large workload, so they often do not care about their diet. They can just eat fast food or junk food to finish their meals. That means labourers easily become obese. In conclusion, living in modern regions will negatively affect people's physical and mental condition, but in my view, it is nothing compared with the benefits. The important thing is that residents can understand clearly themselves and the government should have strategies to reduce the drawbacks.
Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Develop a clearer stance in the introduction to make your position unmistakable.
task achievement
Ensure that each supporting point is fully elaborated and directly linked to the main argument.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words more effectively to guide the reader through your arguments and ensure a logical flow.
language
Address some minor grammatical issues and enhance vocabulary usage to improve clarity and expression.
structure
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow the writer's arguments.
task achievement
Adequate examples were given, such as the availability of healthcare services and gym centers, to support main points.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges both sides of the argument, showing a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with points divided into separate paragraphs for clarity.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: