The qualities that help people reach success in modern life cannot be learned in university or other academic institutions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Whether that
successful
Change the adjective
successfully
show examples
got
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
habits from university classes or from
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
life experiences has been always hotly debated. As some maintain that we learn habits required for a good job
Correct word choice
or carier
show examples
carier
Correct your spelling
career
carrier
from
school
, the majority me included believe that we may learn some life lessons that significantly change our
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
however
not
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
show examples
required for
futer succes
Correct your spelling
future success
is
tought
Correct your spelling
taught
in
school
. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand ,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ecperiencing
Correct your spelling
experiencing
life and not ever
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
up
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
difficulties is a key in order even find some
minore
Correct your spelling
minor
success.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
the
famouse
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famous
foootball
Correct your spelling
football
player Ronaldo
didnt
Correct your spelling
didn't
start big ,
first
Add a comma
first,
show examples
he started his
carier
Correct your spelling
career
carrier
in a
smallclub
Correct your spelling
small
in his country but the story
isnt
Correct your spelling
isn't
done yet as he
chalnged
Correct your spelling
challenged
changed
him self
Correct your spelling
himself
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more by training more
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
his fellow football mates and
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
his games.
However
, the dark side is
extremelu
Correct your spelling
extremely
unsettling . There are many that work as hard as Ronaldo did but
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
studied other players but
didnt
Correct your spelling
didn't
get the same results.
Moreover
due to
how
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
teaches
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
for big
Correct your spelling
achievements
achievments
Correct your spelling
achievements
as there
isnt
Correct your spelling
isn't
any subject that may push us for huge
Correct your spelling
achievements
achievement
achievments
Correct your spelling
achievements
On the other hand
,
school
wont
Add an apostrophe
won't
show examples
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
you
succcess
Correct your spelling
succeed
but can work as a tool to
acomplish
Correct your spelling
accomplish
that ;
other wise
Correct your spelling
otherwise
show examples
most world
belioners
Correct your spelling
believers
beginners
wolldnt
Correct your spelling
wouldn't
would
of went to university. That said college can teach us the basic
knowledg
Correct your spelling
knowledge
to achieve
financila
Correct your spelling
financial
comfort in the modern age
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. there are much more
oppertunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
out there than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
past hundred years.
In other words
today we can find
oppertunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
every place we go and
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we have access
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
our
finger tips
Correct your spelling
fingertips
show examples
. In brief , it
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
make
since
Correct your spelling
sense
show examples
to believe that
approuching
Correct your spelling
achieving
succes
Correct your spelling
success
and learning
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
only be achieved in
school
.
Hence
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
show examples
is
accesable
Correct your spelling
accessible
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
our
finger tips
Correct your spelling
fingertips
show examples
and
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
learn anything we desire in any place on earth and
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
a living only from dedication
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
learning.
Submitted by turki.rais on

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task achievement
Ensure clarity in your introduction. Consider rephrasing the opening sentence for better readability.
coherence cohesion
Work on organization. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea and have a clear topic sentence.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structure and grammar to enhance readability. This will help convey ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support arguments made. This will strengthen the essay's persuasiveness.
coherence cohesion
Conclude with a stronger summarization of key points for a well-rounded finish.
task achievement
Revise for minor spelling and grammatical errors to achieve greater clarity and precision.
task achievement
The essay attempts to provide both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach.
coherence cohesion
The writer is trying to support main points with examples, which is essential to argumentative writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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