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Band 5

The chart below shows the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the reasons why people travel to work by bicycle or by car. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#people #travel #work #bicycle #car #summaries #information #features #comparisons
The diagrams above display the
reasons
 behind people's choice in their modes of
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
 to travel to work. Categorized into these
two
 pie charts are
reasons
 to ride
bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
 and car. Making up more than 50% of the data, most people who bike to their office list health and environmental concerns as their main
reasons
. Affordability and efficiency are
also
 considered
as
Change preposition
apply
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important, divided into
two
 major points
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
having to pay next to nothing for parking services and less traffic, meaning
lesser
Correct word choice
less
show examples
 time spent riding in comparison to driving.
In contrast
 to cycling, people who choose to drive their cars do so
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the reason of comfort.
Following
this
, the distance to their working place played a second big role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their decisions
in driving
Change preposition
to drive
show examples
. Interestingly, just like the previous group, they
also
 think their preferred
vehice
Correct your spelling
vehicle
 is faster than the
other's
Change the noun form
others
other
show examples
. The other
two
reasons
 are regarding the amount of stuff they need to bring and safety
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
. In conclusion, these
two
 groups share
similarity
Fix the agreement mistake
similarities
show examples
 in their concerns
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 speed, perceiving their chosen mode of transportation can
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 more efficient. Meanwhile, their main concerns differ from each other in a contrasting way: the first on health, and the latter on comfort.
Submitted by arsyiiimuhammad061 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words reasons, two with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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