IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Public libraries provide a large collecction of books to read. Somepeople argue that they should also provide other high tech facilities like computer, internet, CD's and DVD's. Do you agree or disagree?

#libraries #collecction #books #somepeople #tech #facilities #computer #internet #cd #dvd
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In
this
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 day and age, traditional sources of information,
such
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 as physical texts, have evolved to offer a broad range of digital formats,
such
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 as CDs, DVDs, and files uploaded on the internet.
Although
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 a portion of society derives so much pleasure from acquiring titles from libraries, others assume these places should provide additional digital sources rather than just physical publications. From my point of view, I partially agree with the stated notion, as I believe libraries might allow people to use computers connected to the internet since these are vital tools for the community. In
this
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 essay, I will share some arguments to support my viewpoint. It is quite vital, that every book room should allow PCs to their users as it could be an essential tool to administer the entire textbook list;
in addition
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, these devices can facilitate plenty of information, on the internet, to enforce every investigation.
For instance
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, several universities introduce to their students both, a list of physical tomes and tons of E-books; in
this
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 way, they can choose the perfect pathway for their study. In a public library, neither CDs nor DVDs should be stored since these formats are complex to play as hardly any players exist in users' houses.
Moreover
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, the younger generation is not familiar with the usage of these devices,
as well as
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 these can be easily damaged and replaced, provoking,
as a result
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, more waste to the environment. In conclusion, modern libraries should implement computers to complement every user's research. Sources of information in older formats, like discs, could be unusual in
this
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 contemporary era.
Due to
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this
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 fact, these can be omitted.
Submitted by oscarsanmo on

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task achievement
Try to use more specific examples or evidence to support your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports the essay topic and thesis. Paragraphs should have a clear topic sentence that supports the main argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which encapsulates your standpoint well.
task achievement
You have addressed the essay prompt directly and provide a clear stance in your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured, with a good flow from one paragraph to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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