Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Recently, technological advancements have increased dramatically, and the vast majority see technology
a
defining feature of modern living. In my perspective, prolonged usage is detrimental for many reasons and the disadvantages overtook the advantages.
There are several reasons to overuse cell phones, sharing knowledge by using smartphones Change preposition
as a
much
easier. Add a missing verb
is much
For instance
, so many people learning different languages on platforms and online websites with specialist tutors or joining a group. In addition
, there is a big chance to know people from another culture. For example
, I joined a group to improve my English fluency and in
the same Change preposition
at
time
I made beautiful friendships.
Add a comma
time,
On the other hand
, I slightly agree with the dangers of spending overtime using phones and that is
because variety reasons
. In my opinion, the main reason is the side effect of light screens and blue lights. these lights cause eye strain, tension, headache, and impaired Change preposition
of reasons
cognitive
. Replace the word
cognition
Also
, the addictions to smartphones decrease face-to-face encounters and make them more procrastinators. Furthermore
, excessive use could make
physical and psychological health problems.
In conclusion, it is true that technology Verb problem
cause
develop
our life with Change the verb form
develops
high quality
facilities, but I believe that the negative impact overtook the positive. I hope that everybody can balance both digital and real life to have a better future.Add a hyphen
high-quality
Submitted by shahad.san966 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, consider outlining your essay before writing. This will help you organize your ideas more clearly and logically. Adding clear topic sentences and transition phrases can also help guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows naturally into the next. Use transitional phrases and linking words to create a smooth reading experience. This will enhance the cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
Work on supporting each main point with more specific examples or data. This will make your arguments stronger and more compelling.
task achievement
Try to develop your ideas more fully to provide a clearer and more comprehensive response to the task.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly sets the context and states your perspective, which is crucial for a good essay.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and reinforces your main argument, creating a coherent end to your essay.
relevant specific examples
You provided relevant and specific examples to support your points, such as learning languages or making new friends through smartphones.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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