The diagram below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called salmon

The diagram below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called salmon
The flow chart illustrates the development of a species of large fist called the
selmon
Change the capitalization
Selmon
salmon
show examples
from
egg
Add an article
the egg
show examples
during its life
cycle
.
Overall
it is clear that
there are three distinct
stage
Change to a plural noun
stages
show examples
illustrated in the process commencing with producing
eggs
in the water and ending with
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
of mature salmon. The first stage is when the
eggs
are
Correct your spelling
hidden
hiden
Correct your spelling
hidden
under reeds and small stones in the upper river for approx 5-6
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
show examples
after the
eggs
hatched
Wrong verb form
hatch
show examples
they will be called fry
that is
3-8 cm the next step
after
this
is that the fry will go to the lower river and stay there for approx 4 years until they grow up
then
thy will be called smolt
that is
12-15 cm after that they will move to the open sea at
this
point in the
cycle
they will become an adult salmon
that is
70-76 cm and the final stage of the
cycle
is when the adult salmon go back to the lower river in order to lay
eggs
having completed all these steps the life
cycle
will
then
begin again
Submitted by s_syedy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
Vocabulary: Replace the words cycle, eggs with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: