Some people think that human history has been a journey from ignorance to knowledge. Others argue that this underestimates the achievements of ancient cultures, and overvalues our achievements. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
A large number
people
believe that human evolution has been a voyage from negligence to new findings. Change preposition
of people
While
another portion of individuals advocate that this
statement undervalues the inventions of past generations and give
importance to the innovations of the present. I believe human history is a journey from ignorance to knowledge. Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
This
essay will discuss both views and give reasons for my opinion.
To start with, human beings have been always improving and learning from their past. Mankind's first invention was fire. Even though fire and heat had been there in the nature from begining
of the Correct your spelling
beginning
world
,men only learned to make fire centuries later,that
too accidentally. For another Correct word choice
and that
example
gravity is a universal truth and phenomenon. But people only understood the principles of gravity after Newton saw a falling apple. Add a comma
example,
Further
Rephrase
Furthermore
more
modern medicinal science is growing today,by taking many overlooked factors of the past.
Correct quantifier usage
apply
On the other hand
, achievements
of past generations cannot be ignored fully. Correct article usage
the achievements
Construction
of pyramids is still a great example of excellence in structural engineering. Even though there are many successful ventures In the past,many factors were overlooked during those eras. Much improvement in science and technology is present today Correct article usage
The construction
due to
constant
improvement of past mistakes.Correct article usage
the constant
There
Rephrase
Therefore
for
one can argue that Change preposition
apply
new
generation's achievements are not overvalued.
Correct article usage
the new
To sum up
, I advocate that mankind's past has been a travel from ignorance to innovations
. As stated in Fix the agreement mistake
innovation
this
essay, modern men offers
a much more sophisticated Change the verb form
offer
world
with more facilities and technologies than the ancient world
. Although
,
ancient civilizations Remove the comma
apply
also
offered certain inventions, they are not above today's fast growing
Add a hyphen
fast-growing
world
.Submitted by augustinjose99 on
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task achievement
Consider refining your thesis statement to make it more precise. Instead of saying, 'This essay will discuss both views and give reasons for my opinion,' consider specifying the main points you will address.
task achievement
Try to provide more detailed and varied examples to support your points. For instance, while discussing advancements from the past, citing specific historical texts or renowned ancient scholars can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Revise some sentences to improve clarity. Avoid run-on sentences by breaking them into smaller, more manageable bits. For example, 'Even though fire and heat had been there in the nature from begining of the world,men only learned to make fire centuries later,that too accidentally,' could be clearer if broken into two sentences.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread your work to correct minor grammatical errors and typos like 'begining' (which should be 'beginning') and 'there for' (which should be 'therefore').
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easier to follow your argument.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed both perspectives of the debate, which demonstrates your ability to consider multiple viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and restates your opinion, which helps in reinforcing your viewpoint.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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