IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard? These questions will be discussed in this essay, and a conclusion will be provided.

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To begin
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 with, working hard is crucial in our lives. In some situations, we must
work
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 hard or study hard, which leads to great
results
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.
For example
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, in some countries, pupils have to study hard to get a scholarship.
This
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 means that some pupils cannot afford their tuition fees;
therefore
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, they look for scholarships.
Similarly
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, athletes must train rigorously to excel in their sports and achieve success. Moving to the second question, working hard to achieve tasks perfectly is always a great thing. If you do your job perfectly, you will see the desired
results
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.
For instance
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, people who
work
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 as lawyers have to do things perfectly to achieve the
results
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 they are looking for.
However
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, it is
also
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 important to recognize that overworking can lead to burnout and negatively affect one's mental and physical health. In conclusion, in our life, we have to
work
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 hard to achieve great
results
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.
While
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 working hard is generally beneficial, it is
also
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 essential to balance
work
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 with rest to maintain
overall
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 well-being.

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task response
Your essay provides clear responses to both questions and includes specific examples such as scholarships and lawyers. However, expanding on the reasons why some people work harder than others could enhance the completeness of your task response.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, consider adding more transitional phrases between paragraphs and ideas. This will help to create a smoother flow in your essay, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task response
While the main points are supported with examples, some additional development of these points would make your argument more compelling. Try to provide more detailed explanations and varied examples for greater coverage.
coherence cohesion
Clear and logical structure is present throughout the essay, with appropriate usage of introduction and conclusion.
task response
The essay successfully addresses both questions and stays relevant to the topic, providing specific and relevant examples to support the main points.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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