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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many people used distance- learning programs to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the benefits as much as attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #distance- #programs #study #home #college #university
These days, technology is evolving really fast
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and provides a situation in which we can
study
 lessons, work, buy things, and relate with other
people
 from other countries. For
study
Add a comma
study,
show examples
people
 have different ideas some
people
 who prefer to
study
 in a college or
university
 believe
this
 way has more advantages
instead
 of distance- learning.
However
, I agree with
this
 opinion up to the point because two ways of learning are needed today
firstly
, is good in a strategy position
secondly
, have more benefits. On the one hand, I disagree with the view that
people
 must
study
 in a place, for some
people
 cannot go to the
university
 for some reason like illness, accommodation, and visa, but they like to
study
 at a good institute. To illustrate, in Corona Virus Epidemic
people
 could not go to
university
 so coronavirus was really dangerous, so the best choice for students who wanted to follow their studies was using online learning.
On the other hand
, learning at
university
 has a good effect on learning.
Firstly
, you can discuss it with your teachers and classmates.
As a result
, you can learn better, and your efficiency increases.
Secondly
, your social behaviours and brain improve when you spend time with your classmates and friends.
Therefore
, you can learn faster.
for instance
, I'm an only child and I could not speak with other offspring, but when I went to kindergarten I understood how to behave and my skills were getting better.
Also
, after many times my learning became so quick. In conclusion, both methods have some advantages and drawbacks. notwithstanding, going to
university
 has a good influence on learning, yet in some positions, we must accept distance- learning is the best way.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument which shows a balanced approach. Try to clarify your thesis statement in the introduction for a stronger position.
coherence cohesion
Some transitions between paragraphs and ideas can be smoother. Enhance the flow by using more cohesive devices and linking words.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear but can be developed further for greater depth. Expand on certain points to provide more comprehensive coverage.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as the Coronavirus epidemic, to support your points which makes your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, and they summarize your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical structure with clear points supporting both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexibility
  • accessibility
  • self-paced learning
  • cost-effective
  • commuting costs
  • tuition fees
  • face-to-face interaction
  • networking
  • self-motivation
  • discipline
  • structured environment
  • extensive resources
  • laboratories
  • counseling services
  • distance-learning programs
  • traditional classes
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