IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In some cultures the old age is more valued, while in some cultures the youth is more valued. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#cultures #age #youth
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People of different cultures have varied
attitude
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attitudes
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 toward
age
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 . Some
refer
Verb problem
say
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 that in
europe
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Europe
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 the old
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 not respected
while
Linking Words
 the other opinion says that in Asia the old
is
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are
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 more respected. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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 I will show both opinions. First of all, old
age
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 is valued everywhere.Old
age
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 has
the
Correct article usage
apply
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priority
in
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apply
show examples
every
Correct your spelling
everywhere
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 where including parking cars, entering hospitals , entering a
plan
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plane
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 first and
eny
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every
 place that
need
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needs
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 to what in line the old
age
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 person has
the
Correct article usage
apply
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priority as
the
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apply
show examples
society
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respect
Correct subject-verb agreement
respects
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 what they have done for them and
that is
Linking Words
 the least that they deserve. In some nations, the youth are valued more because they see them as the future of the nation , governments give priority to the young especially in education as
the
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they
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 represent the future
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society
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of society
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. I believe that
the
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apply
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age
Use synonyms
 is not
the
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a
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 qualification itself for anything.Any person who is respectful and honest and has the knowledge and
qualification
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qualifications
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 in any place or situation must have the same chance
ether
Correct your spelling
whether
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 young or old.Because old
is
Verb problem
does
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 not always mean wisdom nor youth
means
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mean
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 unrespectful. In conclusion, the old
age
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 and the young are essential for the
society
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,so they are both valued. an ideal
Society
Use synonyms
 should have balance. we should appreciate all the vitality and potential of your and the advice of the old
age
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by meshari.alenezi97 on

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task achievement
The essay should contain a more defined introduction that clearly states the main points to be discussed. You have briefly introduced the topic, but the introduction could be more engaging and informative.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea and is well-developed. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the arguments logically.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your points. For instance, when mentioning how older people have priority in certain areas, you could give examples from specific cultures or countries. This will make your arguments more compelling and grounded.
coherence cohesion
In the conclusion, summarize the main points discussed in the essay and reinforce your stance. The current conclusion suggests a balanced view, but reiterating the main arguments will strengthen it.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task, addressing both views of valuing old age and youth.
task achievement
The writing shows a commendable effort in presenting a balanced opinion and discussing both perspectives fairly.
task achievement
You make a valid and thoughtful personal opinion about the importance of qualifications and respect, regardless of age.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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