Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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this

Linking Words

day and age, it is widely believed that government should concentrate on diminishing environmental

pollution

Use synonyms

and addressing housing issues

Change preposition

apply

show examples

against illness and disease.

While

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I agree with

this

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point of view, I think safe and nutritious food sources

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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a problem that authorities need to focus on. On the one hand, environmental

pollution

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and housing problems are

one

Correct determiner usage

some

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of the reasons that lead to

the

Correct article usage

show examples

variety of

health

Use synonyms

issuess

Correct your spelling

issues

Firstly

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, living in an environment contaminated by air

pollution

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can have detrimental effects on respiratory

health

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. In

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

big cities

such

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as Ho Chi Minh City and Hanoi, there is a large amount of emissions from factories, vehicles and dust from

constructions

Fix the agreement mistake

construction

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, which increases the levels of air

pollutions

Fix the agreement mistake

pollution

show examples

and the number of

people

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suffering from respiratory

diseases

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Besides

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, living near the water sources polluted is

also

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at risk for numerous

health

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problems.

Secondly

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, housing

issuses

Correct your spelling

issues

such

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as many generations

live

Wrong verb form

living

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in cramped houses,

substandard

Correct word choice

and substandard

show examples

living conditions

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

create an environment for the spread of

diseases

Use synonyms

On the other hand

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, what

people

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consume on a daily basis

also

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has dramatic effects on

health

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. Eating unhealthy and unsafe foods can lead to dangerous

diseases

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such

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as liver failure,

kidney

Correct word choice

and kidney

show examples

failure and weaken the immune system. Many

people

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have the habit of not eating breakfast or eating junk food for breakfast, which leads to stomach

diseases

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, increasing their risk of developing cancer.

Therefore

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, Food safety management needs to be strengthened by the government and educating the public about the dangers of poor dietary habits. In conclusion,

while

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I acknowledge that environmental

pollution

Use synonyms

and housing issues have a direct impact on

health

Use synonyms

issues, I believe that addressing poor dietary habits and unhealthy lifestyles should be part of the government's proposal to the

people

Use synonyms

lyhuongclcTue Jun 18 2024

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task achievement

You have addressed the topic effectively by discussing both sides of the argument, which shows a clear understanding of the task. However, consider improving the structure of your essay by ensuring there is a clear and distinct separation for each point of view in separate paragraphs.

task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples or data to support your points. For instance, you mention air pollution in cities, but including specific statistics or studies would strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Ensure to proofread your essay for minor grammatical and spelling mistakes. For instance, 'levels of air pollutions' should be 'levels of air pollution', and 'housing issuses' should be 'housing issues'. Minor inaccuracies shouldn't detract from your well-reasoned arguments.

coherence cohesion

Work on using varied linking words and phrases to improve the readability and flow of your essay. This will help in making your arguments more cohesive.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction clearly sets out your position, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points. This gives your essay a strong sense of direction and closure.

logical structure

Your essay is logically structured, with each paragraph presenting a clear main idea supported by relevant points. This enhances the overall coherence of your argument.

supported main points

You have effectively highlighted significant issues related to environmental pollution, housing problems, and food safety. This shows an in-depth understanding of the topic.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive healthcare
environmental regulations
respiratory diseases
public health policies
sanitation facilities
urban planning
communicable diseases
socio-economic factors
sustainable development
government intervention
healthcare infrastructure
industrial emissions
air quality index
affordable housing
mental wellbeing

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Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some educationalists think that international exchange visits will benefit teenagers at the school. • To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

I didn't have any nightmare travel experiences, but my friend has had such an experience.

Nowadays, people prefer buying new items rather than repairing the damaged ones. What are the causes of this change ? what are its effects?

People should only buy food sourced locally. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?