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Band 7.5

The charts show the average levels of participation and the highest education level of adults from 2000 to 2010 in Singapore. Write at least 150 words!

The charts show the average levels of participation and the highest education level of adults from 2000 to 2010 in Singapore. Write at least 150 words!
#show #levels #participation #education #level #adults #singapore
he presented two pipe charts
illustrate
Wrong verb form
illustrating
show examples
 the digit of employment in the UK in 1998 and 2012. it has four types: men in full-time jobs, part-time staff for guys, full-time work for females and part-time
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 for ladies,
furthermore
, a total of 23,839 employees in the UK in 1998
also
 a total of 29,600 Employees in the UK in 2012.
Overall
, the numerals of
workers
 who type prestige varied considerably in 2012 Thu some varieties of parentage with the elevated in 2012 The number of
workers
 with a loftier share of men, full-time work was simply under 47% in 2012
however
, but the graph demonstrates the numerals of men full-time
workers
 parentage was just under 53% in 1988
in addition
 to the number of women full-time work was precisely under 26% in 2012
while
 the number of women full-time career percentage lived just under 19% in 1988
On the other hand
, the lowest quota graph exhibits that fellow part-time
workers
 were just under 7% in 2012
this
 graph portrays the down bonus of fellas part-time worked just under 6% in 1988. The secondary lowest portion of women's part-time toil was just under 20% in 2012
Submitted by hirushanayodh12 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words workers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 5 times.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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