Some people think it is important to spend time in developing a successful career while others think it is more importany to spend time with family and friends. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Many
people
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nowadays have differing ideas as regards their
time
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spent. One side says that increasing your profession is the right path to succeed in a
career
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,
while
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others argue it is a necessary factor to spend
time
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with closer
people
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. I would argue that it is better to develop your
career
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.
According to
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some
people
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, the option to spend
time
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with family and friends is important, and
this
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is so good for your mental health, and
this
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can increase your relationships with closer
people
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.
In addition
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, your family and friends and you need each other for convincing reasons.
For instance
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, you can help and get help in certain areas of a job or a study.
This
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is a good tendency for a lot of
people
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.
However
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, others, including me, believe that it is more effective to spend
time
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increasing your qualifications in your
career
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area. Because the human life span is so short you must do everything to create a successful
career
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and life. If you can do
this
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, you will have certain spending
time
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for family and friends.
In addition
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, the person who finds a great
career
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and job has a lot of advantages in his/her life.
For instance
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, you can help everyone who is your family member or friend,and you can
also
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increase your relationship with each other after the isolation period for a
career
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. In conclusion, considering the requirements to become a successful person in your
career
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, I have come to the conclusion that
people
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must dedicate their
time
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and hearts to their careers.
Submitted by elmiribrahimli377 on

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task achievement
Try to introduce more specific examples to support your points. It will make your argument more compelling and relatable.
task achievement
Ensure all your main points are fully developed with supporting details. This will enhance clarity and demonstrate depth of analysis.
coherence and cohesion
Work on providing clearer links between some paragraphs and ideas to enhance the logical flow of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using transition phrases to further connect your ideas smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The main viewpoints are adequately discussed.
task achievement
The argument supporting career development is well-articulated.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • prioritize
  • strike a balance
  • ambitious
  • dedicated
  • work-life balance
  • career-oriented
  • professional success
  • financial stability
  • personal fulfillment
  • contribute
  • supportive
  • cherish
  • bond
  • memorable
  • experience
  • social connections
  • commitment
  • advocate
  • sacrifice
  • juggle
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