Some people believe that for children learning about the local history is more important than knowing the World history. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Some individuals are of the opinion that young generations should learn national

history

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

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since it is more significant than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

world

history

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. From

this

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writer's perspective,

this

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statement is firmly disagreeable.

This

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essay will expound upon

this

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by giving feasible reasons and practical examples.

Firstly

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, broadening one's horizon is a decisive element. Specifically, most children

are lacking of

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lack

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global

history

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, and they need to know more useful knowledge

such

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as what people did

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show examples

time

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times

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to get

peaceful

Correct article usage

a peaceful

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country.

Thus

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, students could gain general views

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show examples

all studied countries.

For instance

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, the youth who study abroad

had

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have

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already read many books in relation to

traditions

Correct article usage

the traditions

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of the country they

wanted

Wrong verb form

want

show examples

to go

for learning

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to learn

show examples

they

Correct word choice

and they

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could

Wrong verb form

can easily

show examples

avoid culture

shocks

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shock

show examples

easily

Rephrase

apply

show examples

Secondly

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, another benefit gained from learning from others. To be more precise, national

history

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is quite restrict

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is quite restricted

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;

however

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, world

history

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is a combination of the best

knowledges

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knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

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teachers want to express to children.

As a result

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, they could gain experience from useful lessons

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from

show examples

others's

failure

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failures

show examples

victory

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victories

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in the past more comfortably.

For example

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, Ho Chi Minh

who

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apply

show examples

went abroad to learn other countries'

culture

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cultures

show examples

Use synonyms

history

Fix the agreement mistake

histories

show examples

, and specific skills

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over

show examples

the course of 30 years to look for a way to save Vietnam from America which

Wrong verb form

was

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one of the strongest

country

Change to a plural noun

countries

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in the war period;

therefore

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, he

succesfully

Correct your spelling

successfully

defeat them. In conclusion,

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totally disagree with

this

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suggestion

due to

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the listed advantages,

such

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as acquiring global

history

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and getting more valuable experience

Wed Jun 19 2024

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clear comprehensive ideas

To enhance your clear and comprehensive ideas, try to provide more in-depth explanations and avoid repetitive phrases. Also, focus on sentence variety to keep the reader engaged.

relevant specific examples

Ensure that your examples fully align with your arguments. The example of Ho Chi Minh, while interesting, could be better connected to the point you're making about learning from others.

supported main points

While your main points are supported, strive to include more specific evidence and elaboration for each point so that the argument is even stronger and more logical.

introduction conclusion present

You have a well-structured introduction and conclusion, which help present your argument clearly.

complete response

Your response is complete and addresses the task appropriately, discussing the importance of both local and world history for children.

relevant specific examples

You successfully provided examples to support your points, which adds credibility to your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

246 words

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Some people believe that for children learning about the local history is more important than knowing the World history. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Your opinion

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are essential in achieving happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples