Some people believe that for children learning about the local history is more important than knowing the World history. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #children #history #world

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Some individuals are of the opinion that young generations should learn national

history

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apply

show examples

since it is more significant than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

world

history

. From

this

writer's perspective,

this

statement is firmly disagreeable.

This

essay will expound upon

this

by giving feasible reasons and practical examples.

Firstly

, broadening one's horizon is a decisive element. Specifically, most children

are lacking of

Wrong verb form

lack

show examples

global

history

, and they need to know more useful knowledge

such

as what people did

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show examples

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

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to get

peaceful

Correct article usage

a peaceful

show examples

country.

Thus

, students could gain general views

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show examples

all studied countries.

For instance

, the youth who study abroad

had

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

already read many books in relation to

traditions

Correct article usage

the traditions

show examples

of the country they

wanted

Wrong verb form

want

show examples

to go

for learning

Change preposition

to learn

show examples

they

Correct word choice

and they

show examples

could

Wrong verb form

can easily

show examples

avoid culture

shocks

Fix the agreement mistake

shock

show examples

easily

Rephrase

apply

show examples

Secondly

, another benefit gained from learning from others. To be more precise, national

history

is quite restrict

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is quite restricted

show examples

;

however

, world

history

is a combination of the best

knowledges

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knowledge

pieces of knowledge

bits of knowledge

show examples

teachers want to express to children.

As a result

, they could gain experience from useful lessons

Change preposition

from

show examples

others's

failure

Fix the agreement mistake

failures

show examples

victory

Fix the agreement mistake

victories

show examples

in the past more comfortably.

For example

, Ho Chi Minh

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

went abroad to learn other countries'

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

history

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histories

show examples

, and specific skills

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over

show examples

the course of 30 years to look for a way to save Vietnam from America which

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

one of the strongest

country

Change to a plural noun

countries

show examples

in the war period;

therefore

, he

succesfully

Correct your spelling

successfully

defeat them. In conclusion,

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show examples

totally disagree with

this

suggestion

due to

the listed advantages,

such

as acquiring global

history

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apply

show examples

and getting more valuable experience

Wed Jun 19 2024

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clear comprehensive ideas

To enhance your clear and comprehensive ideas, try to provide more in-depth explanations and avoid repetitive phrases. Also, focus on sentence variety to keep the reader engaged.

relevant specific examples

Ensure that your examples fully align with your arguments. The example of Ho Chi Minh, while interesting, could be better connected to the point you're making about learning from others.

supported main points

While your main points are supported, strive to include more specific evidence and elaboration for each point so that the argument is even stronger and more logical.

introduction conclusion present

You have a well-structured introduction and conclusion, which help present your argument clearly.

complete response

Your response is complete and addresses the task appropriately, discussing the importance of both local and world history for children.

relevant specific examples

You successfully provided examples to support your points, which adds credibility to your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

246 words

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Some people believe that for children learning about the local history is more important than knowing the World history. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Your opinion

In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks.

In some countries,it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age.Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the art and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

In many countries, it is mandatory for school children to wear uniforms. What is your opinion