Some people think that teenage years are the happiest times of most people's live. Others think that adult life brings more happiness in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Regardless of
the
age, every person is looking out in the world to be happy. Some believe that teenage times with Correct article usage
apply
lack
of responsibilities, Correct article usage
a lack
is
the happiest moments of Correct subject-verb agreement
are
life
. Use synonyms
In
the Change preposition
On
otherhand
, others think that Correct your spelling
other hand
adult
years, during which they are much Correct article usage
the adult
independent
Correct quantifier usage
more independent
to make
choices in Change preposition
in making
life
, bring more joy even with Use synonyms
such
responsibilities. In Linking Words
this
essay , I will give the perspectives from both sides and Linking Words
also
tell why the former carries more weight than the latter.
The main reason why some people might view Linking Words
teenage
Correct article usage
the teenage
year's
as the Change noun form
years
most
happiest times is the lack of responsibilities. With Change the adjective
apply
such
freedom, they have enough Linking Words
time
for themselves to do the Use synonyms
thing's
Correct your spelling
things
what
they love to do. Given the ample amount of Correct word choice
that
time
, they can use it to spend with their friends to play at the park , watch movies or have game Use synonyms
night's
, earningChange noun form
nights
the
Correct article usage
apply
happiness
during those times . Use synonyms
In addition
, they do not have the stress that most Linking Words
adult's
have Change the noun form
adults
adult
such
as to make Linking Words
life
decisions. Even if they have problems from school, Use synonyms
for instance
, problems with completing their homework or some projects, they have their Linking Words
parents
to help them out to solve those .
On the other side, people believe that adult Use synonyms
year's
is the best part of their Change the noun form
years
year
life
could be Use synonyms
due to
the reason that they can pave their own road. Linking Words
This
is because, during their childhood, they were under Linking Words
the
restrictions from their Correct article usage
apply
parents
Use synonyms
such
that they were not able to do what they Linking Words
enjoy
unless they Wrong verb form
enjoyed
finish
a particular task . So when they cross Wrong verb form
finished
teenage
years, they are happy to be out of Correct pronoun usage
their teenage
such
barriers and Linking Words
also
do what they admire like buying a new car or travelling to new places.
Linking Words
Although
both sides point out good views, I believe that Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
happiness
during the teenage years Use synonyms
overweighs
the Verb problem
outweighs
time
during adulthood. Use synonyms
Although
Linking Words
its
true that they have some limitations in their Replace the word
it's
it is
decision making
, they do not have a lot of obstacles in Add a hyphen
decision-making
life
that their Use synonyms
parents
might have. Use synonyms
This
is because Linking Words
also
considering the problems of their own children, Linking Words
parents
as adults Use synonyms
also
have to face and deal with many issues. Linking Words
As a result
, even if they have some dreams and wishes that they could find Linking Words
happiness
Use synonyms
from
, they must have to keep them aside just for the sake of their family as they do not have the Change preposition
apply
time
. Use synonyms
However
, I do believe that if adults can find a balance between their busy Linking Words
Use synonyms
life
and Fix the agreement mistake
lives
also
do what they love , they can Linking Words
also
be truly happy.
In conclusion, Linking Words
while
teenagers can enjoy their Linking Words
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
due to
their lack of Linking Words
responsilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
as well as
the ample amount of Linking Words
time
they have, adults too can find Use synonyms
happiness
if they can strike a balance between their challenging Use synonyms
Use synonyms
life
and Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Linking Words
also do
what they admire.Wrong verb form
doing
Submitted by kevinleom12 on
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grammar
While your essay addresses both views effectively, consider refining your grammatical structures to enhance clarity and coherence. This includes ensuring that punctuation is correctly placed, such as not using space before commas, and being consistent with verb tenses.
development
Develop your paragraphs further by expanding on the examples and providing more specific evidence to support your points. More detailed and varied examples would strengthen your arguments.
language use
Work on using more academic language and varied sentence structure to demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency. For instance, incorporating more complex sentences and advanced vocabulary can help achieve a higher score.
structure
The structure of your essay is clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both viewpoints, and a conclusion. This shows a good understanding of essay organization.
task response
You have effectively addressed both sides of the argument and provided your opinion, which is essential for this type of essay.
coherence
The comparison between teenage and adult years is coherent, and the arguments are logically structured.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.