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Writing Samples
Band 6

Caring for children is very important for our society. Therefore all mother's and father's should take a child care training course. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #society #mother #father #child #care #course
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Taking care of our
children
 is a very important objective as parents. Enrolling in a specific course is a huge advantage for getting better at caring for our
children
 . It is agreed that it is essential to take a specific program for child care. In
this
 essay, the agreement of taking
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
training will be discussed and its benefits
such
 as giving an excellent
environment
 for our
children
 and getting along
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a healthy way. First of all, when taking a training course, our
children
 will be raised in a healthy
environment
such
 as being free of physical or verbal harm, which may cause
unforgetable
Correct your spelling
unforgettable
 trauma for our small ones if not avoided.
That is
 why giving our
children
 a harm-free
environment
 is essential and shouldn't be avoided at any
costs
Fix the agreement mistake
cost
show examples
.
Therefore
,
this
 makes it clear that guardians should stick with the training. The second reason is that it will develop the relationship between the mother and father alongside their
children
, and
strenghten
Correct your spelling
strengthen
 their bond in a significant way.
For instance
, the child will build trust that will strengthen the relationship by far. Bonding with our
children
 is by far the most important thing,
that's
Correct word choice
and that's
show examples
 why we should stabilize it without getting any damage. To summarise, taking a parenting program has many pros,
such
 as giving an extraordinary
environment
 for our
children
 to be raised in, and building a strong bond that unifies us. It is agreed that all parents of the world should
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 on a training program and stick with it. It is predicted that most parents will take it as the years pass by.
Submitted by mrbukhari9 on

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logical structure
Work on improving the logical flow between paragraphs by using more cohesive devices and varied transitions.
relevant specific examples
Include more specific examples or evidence to strengthen the points made in the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop ideas more comprehensively to ensure clarity and depth in the arguments presented.
introduction conclusion present
The essay introduces the topic clearly and states the writer's position in the introduction.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the writer's position.
supported main points
Main points are relevant to the topic and are supported with explanations.
complete response
The essay addresses the prompt fully by explaining the benefits of taking a child care training course.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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