Some people argue higher taxes should be collected from industries causing higher industrial pollution, whereas others argue there are better ways to deal it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #taxes #industries #pollution

Some people believe that

industries

that facilitate high pollution should be charged higher taxes,

while

others argue that there are better ways to combat

this

. I believe,

although

collecting more

tax

money

would be beneficial in cleaning the pollutants, strictening environmental laws could be a more

straight forward

Correct your spelling

straightforward

show examples

solution. On the one hand, large amounts of

money

are necessary to clean the damage done by

industries

;

therefore

, if greater

tax

is imposed on these

industries

this

money

could be used to remove harmful substances that are destroying nature.

For example

, a garment factory in Sri Lanka dumps all its waste and byproducts into the river, and the government spends lots of

money

annually to filter out the waste products.

Instead

of depleting government funds,

tax

money

Change preposition

from

show examples

the factory should be used to clean the river.

However

Change preposition

show examples

my view,

this

is not sustainable in the

long-run

Correct your spelling

long run

show examples

because some chemicals could cause irreversible damage.

On the other hand

, governments could stricten policies against companies that tend to pollute the surroundings.

That is

to say, they can charge a big fine if they exceed a certain of hazardous substances.

This

is reliable because it is easy for governments to do routine check-ups with the factories and evaluate the amount of excess waste products.

For instance

, many European countries have laws in their system to keep industrial pollution in check. In conclusion, it is true that extra

tax

industries

that pollute more than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

others could be useful in

help

Change the form of the verb

helping

show examples

removing

Wrong verb form

remove

show examples

the released bad products;

however

, stricter laws against them would do a better job

Change preposition

show examples

dealing

this

Change preposition

with this

show examples

issue.

Submitted by sajeendranrajakumar on Wed Jun 19 2024

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task achievement

Your task response is generally strong. You have addressed both views and provided a clear opinion. However, your explanation could be more developed in some parts. Try to elaborate more on the reasons and potential consequences.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Consider explicitly linking some of your ideas to reinforce the connection between them.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your argument.

relevant specific examples

You provided specific examples, such as the garment factory in Sri Lanka, which helps to support your main points.

logical structure

The essay follows a logical structure, with each paragraph contributing to the overall argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that It is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

in some countries the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people say that companies should give importance to their employees, whereas others say that they should give importance to customers. discus both view and give your opinion.

Some people think young people are suitable for learning foreign languages. Some think adults are more suitable. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.